Weirdness

Today the kids went to the rec center for their "Holiday Drop Off" from 9am to 4pm. For the low, low price of $15 per kid, Jeremy and I had a whole day to ourselves.

It's weird enough to have a night to ourselves, but a day? Odd. We dropped the kids off and came home to make coffee and play RockBand and I felt bizarre. I'm used to a little time alone at home now that both boys have school, but having Jeremy with me was a nice treat.

We played RockBand, did a little shopping, had falafel for lunch, picked up some pastries, and came home to watch Bill Cosby: Himself while I was finishing knitting Dorian's Xmas mittens. We hadn't seen Himself since we were kids, and it is frickin' hilarious. The beginning is a little slow, but the parenting stuff in the second half was breaking my face I was laughing so hard. Laughing and duplicate stitch don't mix too well, but I made it work. It's only on Netflix Instant until the 22nd, so if you need a little nostalgia, you'd better get it quick.

I'll try to take some project pictures soon, but some still have to stay secret. Since the kids don't read the blog, I can at least show you all the socks and mittens...

A quick recap

Thanksgiving weekend was very busy, with my mother in town Thursday lunchtime until Sunday morning and then work on Sunday.

Wednesday

• Took Dorian to Little Peoples and had a cafe date with Sebastian.
• Did the last shopping of the year at Walker Farm. (Sob.)
• Made an apple pie, a pumpkin pie and cranberry sauce.
• Watched Singin' in the Rain with the kids which they loved and I am so happy they loved. Dorian was crying he was laughing so hard during this scene.
• Went out with Christine, Steven and Rosemary for a little pre-holiday fortification.

Thursday

• Made a 13 pound turkey. As usual followed the directions and as usual had the turkey finish cooking an hour early.
• Had a lovely meal with the kids, the husband, the in-laws and my mother.
• Made several quarts of turkey stock to put in the freezer.
• Was very tired. Can't remember anything else.

Friday

• Had a lazy rainy morning and then went to see Fantastic Mr. Fox. It was fantastic. My favorite part was when one of the characters called something a "cluster cuss".
• Made a pot pie-ish thing out of leftovers with mashed potatoes on top. Starting to be really sick of turkey.
• Played dominoes. Lost every time.
• Somehow got sucked into a show about wedding dress shopping. Can't explain it. Clearly swept up in some holiday weekend vortex.

Saturday

• Took the kids ice skating. It was Dorian's first time and Sebastian's second. Sebastian's first time was when he was Dorian's age and he started screaming a quarter of the way around. Jeremy barely got him back to the door to get off the ice. Dorian's first time almost went the same way, but he relaxed at about the halfway point and ended up doing fine. I had not been on ice skates since 7th grade, so it was an exciting experience for me as well.
• Went to lunch in Greenfield and then to the Montague Bookmill-- "Books you don't need in a place you can't find."
• Had a popcorn dinner while watching Hard Day's Night. The kids also loved this one. We're riding a large wave of Beatlemania around here these days.
• Played more dominoes. Lost every game.
• Played Waterworks. Won the last game.

Sunday

• Got my mother on the road. Sent Jeremy out for donuts. Breakfast of champions.
• Went to work. Tried to work on my second mystery sock which is supposed to be finished by midnight tonight if I want to enter the contest.
• Had none other than John Hodgman sitting on the couch in the store while his wife shopped for yarn and his kids all took turns needing to use the restroom. I couldn't decide whether to say anything to him, so I opted not to. Later I realized I had missed an opportunity to punch him for all the times I couldn't sleep because Jeremy was laughing so hard next to me while reading his books.
• Played more dominoes. Lost every game.

Now I need to put my fingers to a different use and get these socks done. Only 14.5 hours to go. I don't even know what I could win, but I want to dammit!

Because it actually can get worse... or at least weirder

So, after my rotten day of rottenness, I decided to go to the grocery store alone. Should have been a pretty easy thing to do. So I get to the car and realize I don't have my 2 fold up reusable bags. I go back in the house and get them.

I get to the store. I toss them, along with my purse, in the cart. I shop. I get everything on the list. So far so good. I put everything on the conveyor belt.

But where are my bags? They are not in the cart. They are not in my purse. They are not mixed in with my groceries.

Okay, I think, it has been a rough day, maybe I just think I put them in the cart but they are sitting on the seat of my car. Stranger things have happened.

Stranger things have happened. Somebody stole my store brand reusable bags! They were not in the car. I wasn't crazy after all.

My wallet full of cash and credit cards with absurd lines of credit? Nope.
The boys' awesome space hat? Nah.
The keys to my car and house? Not so much.
But my banged up reusable bags? Score!

Today was one of those days...

... where I actually felt like I was doing something right. It is easy for me to get bogged down in the little dumb stuff in life and parenting. And it is even easier to get bogged down in the big dumb stuff. For example, I am happy that the kids have been much better behaved since I pitched a fit last Thursday, but I don't feel particularly good that I frightened them by threatening to leave them on the side of the road. I know that I don't always make the best choices or do the perfect thing, and that is really hard for me to accept so I have a tendency to beat myself up a little.

But there are days where I just want to cry because I think my kids are so goddamn lucky to lead the life they do. (Crazy mother and all.) And today was one of those days.

Crazy mother went out with several other crazy mothers last night, and when I say went out, I mean until last call. So I wasn't home until midnight and didn't go to sleep until later than that and woke up as tired as when my head hit the pillow. But I got some pants on and went and picked up Amanda and her boys and we all headed up to Putney to go to the orchard there. The plums weren't ripe, but there were blueberries, so Amanda and I picked nearly a gallon apiece while the kids played amongst the bushes in the glorious sunshine.

And after a quick return to the farm stand for an urgent bathroom visit (inevitable with 4 kids in tow) we put the kids in 2 wagons to go look for the reindeer. We didn't see them, but the kids were enjoying the wagon ride and I thought that Sebastian and Riley would probably have more fun (and I wouldn't hurt my back so much) if they tried to ride the wagon down the hill by themselves. And so Sebastian was the Hobbes to Riley's Calvin. And they loved it! And all I could think was that this was what summer should be-- riding in a red wagon down a dirt track amidst a beautiful orchard in this beautiful state that we are fortunate enough to call home. What more could these kids ask for than 2 mamas who love them enough to take them to an orchard to run and play and crash a wagon into a fence while the mamas pick berries for jam to enjoy all winter? Will they think of today when they eat a piece of toast with jam 3 months from now? Will I remember to? Who knows? But it is very nice to be able to appreciate these times as they happen. And now I sound too much like a certain other blogger who tends toward the sappy and often makes me gag a little but takes very pretty pictures, so I will leave you with this pretty picture in her honor:

A ginormous dragonfly I found in the grass...

(But I won't leave before telling you that as usual I have bit off more than I can chew by not only buying enough blueberries to make 4 pints of jam, but also a half bushel of apples I now have to turn into applesauce. It was only $8... how could I pass up the opportunity to add more work to my life for that price? And I finished making up Dorian's sweater... other than the zipper and button... but it is sewn together.)

Sartorial shenanigans

Yesterday at the mall in my favorite teenager clothing shop as I tried on a coat with a "fur" hood:

Sebastian: I just love a woman such as yourself in a fur coat such as that.

And that is why he is my favorite shopping companion.

******************

Today at the library's end of summer cupcake party:

Teacher friend: You and C always have the cutest clothes. I need to go shopping with the soccer moms.

You can imagine what a knife to the gut that was. A very innocent, genuinely complimentary knife to the gut. Soccer mom!?! Just because Sebastian went to soccer camp and wants me to sign him up for the fall soccer team doesn't... mean...

[sob]

Good little Americans

Today, like yesterday and the day before and the day before that, was hot. Too hot. It was too hot to be at the lake yesterday, what with water like a warm bath, and the pools are too sunny to be refreshing. Summer! Probably my least favorite season. If it weren't for the gardening...

So today we beat the heat like good little Americans by driving an hour to spend the day at the mall in the blessed A/C doing some Back to School shopping. My mother generously sent the kids some spending money, so Sebastian got to hone his math skills adding up his purchases. He did pretty well.

This is the jacket he insisted he needed which cost him 40% of his budget. (Sebastian seems to be loving the resurgence of the 80s bright colors). Dorian insisted on the robot hat. They also picked out some new shirts-- a robot one and a comic book word one for Sebastian, an alien one and a robot one for Dorian. They each got a pair of pants. And Sebastian got a new lunch box while Dorian got a backpack and underwear.

Jeremy and I weren't left out in all this consumption... he gets a new pair of jeans and I got some accessories and a sweater and a tank top.

Now I just have to wait a week and a half to ship them off to school...

In a pickle

Yesterday I managed to throw yet another monkey wrench into my life by buying a big basket of pickling cucumbers at Walker Farm. It had become quite clear that my own cucumber vines were not planning on being productive enough for me to make pickles from my own garden and I had accepted that fact. So when I saw this half-price basket of cukes, I was tempted. And then Amanda gave me that last little bit of encouragement, and I was on my way home with more cucumbers than I thought and 3 bunches of dill. ($22) We stop at the grocery store for mustard seed, vinegar and quart jars. ($17.70)

When we got home, I put all the boys on cucumber cleaning duty and gathered the rest of the supplies.

Four hours and one emergency trip to the store for more garlic and mustard seed ($4.50) later, I was out of jars, but not out of cucumbers. There were still 7 large and 25 medium cukes mocking me from my colander and a large mixing bowl. So this morning, back I went to the store for another gallon of vinegar, another container of mustard seed, more salt, and more jars. ($19.06)

And now, I am the proud owner of

• 6 quarts of whole dill pickles
• 8 quarts of dill pickle spears
• 5 quarts of dill pickle chips
• 3 12oz jars of dill pickle chips
• 1 pint of dill pickle chips
• and 2 leftover cukes.

I also have a house that smells like a pickle and 3 very happy, pickle lovin' gentlemen who can't wait to crack one of those jars open. And it only cost me $63.26... And to think I could have had a massage for that price.

Plans for some purple UPDATE

Today is going to be all about purple. Well, maybe not entirely, but my purchases today are going to focus on purple.

First, Dorian and I will be heading to the farmer's market to get some raspberries-- I hope enough to make some jam. Every year we get coupons for the market from WIC, which is the awesomest part of that program. I figure I might as well spend them on things I might not normally buy based on their expense. So, first, we stain ourselves purple with raspberry juice.

Then, we are off to buy a wire brush, a sander, a ladder and some purple paint for the garage.

If I don't finish painting our garage in less than a month, we lose our homeowner's insurance. And if I have to paint a garage I don't even use, I might as well paint it purple, right? (The "poolside blue" on the right is the color for Dustin's room.)

UPDATE: I have been totally betrayed by the purported purveyors of purple today. Not only were there no raspberries at market today as I was promised there would be, but the store where I bought my ladder, etc. no longer sells paint for some reason. Boo to all that!

Thomas the (Toilet) Tank Engine

What is it about my children that if they play at either of the train tables available at the two locations of the stationery/toy/candy store in town, they have to shit? For Sebastian, that means an accident in the store and, therefore, he has not been allowed to visit either of the train tables for over a year.

I thought I would be safe taking just Dorian today to get Sebastian's teacher an end of year gift. Sebastian wanted to give her a box of chocolates, so we headed off to the store where Dorian could occupy himself with the trains while I gazed longingly at all the chocolates that were not destined to enter my mouth and chose something for the teacher instead.

Ten minutes in, I was almost ready to make my selections when from across the busy store I hear, "MOMMMMMM!!! I need to POOOOOOOOOOP!!!" And so it was that I found myself wedged into a small stall in the next-door grocery store's bathroom asking myself how it is that this happens every goddamn time.

Is it germs? Is it weird subliminal messages? Is it a bizarre Pavlovian response based on prior experiences? Or is it just my bad luck?

Ridiculous weekend

This weekend has been, and will be, busy... but in a nice way.

Yesterday, I went to play "tennis" with Christine and Rosemary which was a total farce. We all got some exercise, but the balls were all over the place. We were fortunate to have the courts pretty much to ourselves so we didn't embarrass ourselves too much. We were all equally bad and half our cardio workout came from laughing. Can't complain about that.

Then I went to Keene where I managed to only get myself some more white thread for the languishing picnic quilt project. There was nothing at TJ Maxx, except a pathetic little episode where a girl snatched a dress off the rack the moment I returned it there and whined to her mother that she "needed" it. I need to stop shopping in the junior's section. Later, Christine and I went out for a drink and that was very nice until this asshole I can't stand decided to sit at the next table, and we cleared out.

Today, we went for a drive to find a diner (success!) and also went over to Shelburne Falls, Massachusetts. It is a cool little town with a Bridge of Flowers which is a pedestrian bridge lushly planted with, you guessed it, lots of flowers. There were beautiful irises, peonies, wisteria, and these awesome things that look like they are from outer space. We also visited the ice cream parlor/candy shop before heading home.

Tomorrow we are having the Flapdoodlers and our Hazzardous friends over for a little lunchtime barbecue/kids carnival. The boys and I made some bean bags with some of my scrap fabric, and Sebastian is working on a line-up of games to play. Should be fun...

Scene from a video store

As I am waiting for Sebastian's Scooby-Doo DVD to be cleaned:

Woman: So... wait. That's rated R?

Clerk: Yes.

W: Well... what does that mean exactly? What age is that for?

C: You mean, what does the rating mean?

W: Yeah. Why would it be rated R? For, like, language or something?

C: Well, it's probably for partial nudity and language.

W: But, you know, is it appropriate for 15 year olds? What is it about, anyway?

C: Well, it's called Zach and Miri Make a Porno. So, it's about two friends who decide to, you know, make a porno.

W: But is it like Scary Movie?

Clerk #2: It's more of a dramatic comedy.

It's coming along...

While my frighteningly computer-savvy 3 year old was doing the PBS Kids thing this afternoon, I managed to get two more strips of the small squares and rectangles done for the picnic quilt.

One of the new strips is not pictured because I decided I needed to squeeze in time for one more after photographing and before I put the kibosh on Dorian's screen time. This is not a final representation of the order of the strips. That will come later when they are all done. But what you see there is about 28"x48" which I think is about half the size I want the squares to be. Making more strips and adding on a border or three should make it big enough for picnicking.

Although I probably would never pick out any of these fabrics in a store, I have fallen in love with them. You may recall that I got a one quart ziploc bag full of them at the thrift store for one dollar. They were all pretty random scraps, but some of them revealed that they were supposed to be stuffed bears and bunnies... probably for Easter. There is something so sweet and simple about the ginghams and polka dots and I just can't wait to get peanut butter and jelly stains all over them. The picture above looks pretty dull, I know, but I think only a grassy field will do it justice. We don't have any of those around right now, though.

And for the little bit of knitting I have managed since RockBand came in the house:

Miss Lydia's hat, modelled by Sebastian. It's the same old pixie hat pattern that I think I could do in my sleep, only fancied up with some flowers and leaves. I got to use up some of my many scraps of Lamb's Pride, so that was good. And I also got to try out some of the little embellishments in an awesome book my mom gave me, so that was also good.

The addiction

Even though I got some perfectly good vintage yarn from Clockwatcher for Xmas, I couldn't help but go down to Webs when they very kindly sent me a postcard detailing their big end of year sale.

I started trying to knit a pair of socks Xmas morning with the aforementioned vintage yarn, but it was a little stiff from waiting for a willing pair of needles, and I feared the socks would not be very comfortable, so I ripped them out and formulated a new plan for a throw pillow for the couch. But I really wanted a pair of wool socks since I am the only one in the house without a pair.

Thus, my plan to go down to Webs for sock yarn was born. And that picture is what I came home with. Two balls of sock yarn, a sock on the needles (bottom left); 4 balls of cotton yarn for a little baby jacket (bottom right); a fancy skein of pink and orangeyness so Christine can make a hat (in the middle, leftish); and 12 balls of shimmery cranberry cotton for a jacket for me.

I am not prepared to admit what this set me back, but just know that it was a lot less than it would have been full price.

Santa scored big time!

This weekend, Sebastian asked Santa for "a kind of fancy costume, not just one random kind." Now, I'm not entirely sure what that means, but Santa (spoiler alert: that's me) got one hell of a bargain yesterday.

I went out to a party store thinking that they must have some costumes available at all times, right? Wrong. I looked and looked while Dorian did his best to manhandle at least one of every type of party favor known to man. I decided I may as well check the cake decorating aisle while I was there, and lo and behold, there was the Halloween clearance section. As I was trying to determine whether a foam clown nose and a green pageboy wig would fit Sebastian's vague specifications, my eye fell on a "Honey Bunny" costume. What is a Honey Bunny, you ask? Well, apparently it is a child in a pink velour dress with marabou trim and a set of bunny ears. When I checked the price tag I was floored, but knowing my retail protocol like I do, I knew that even if it were a mistake they had to honor the price.

The costume that originally retailed for $24.99 now said $2.19! Boy, was I psyched. And when I looked to the right, there was a "The Thing" costume (from the Fantastic 4 or something) which originally sold for $34.99 going for only$1.09!

So, I walked out with two full costumes and a couple of stocking stuffers for $5 and a penny!

I guess that's why they call them "Doorbuster" sales

How crazy is this story about the guy being trampled to death in a Wal-Mart? Do you really need their poorly manufactured goods so badly that you actually need to kill someone to get to them? The worst part of the whole tragic tale is that shoppers were refusing to leave even though someone was dead and there was an investigation going on. Good gravy!

You ready for this one?

I was having trouble with my debit card. It would only swipe about half the time, so I went into the bank and they ordered me a new card.

The card arrived last week, I cut up the old one, and put the new one in my wallet.

I went to use it at the co-op today for the first time. It won't swipe. The cashier tries repeatedly. Nothing doing. I said, "It's a brand new card. This is ridiculous." She looks closer at the machine.

It's expired. My brand new card says it is "good thru" 12/07.

I've got all the luck.

Less than 24 hours...

And it already looks a little too lived in. Last night, Jeremy and I built the new bookcases and wrestled the couch into the living room. This morning we filled up the shelves. And then the kids trashed the place.And in other exciting news... I finally went to WEBS, which is the awesomest yarn store in the world. So many pretty, pretty yarns. It's a little dangerous. I think it's for the best that I never bothered to make the 50 minute drive before yesterday because we may not have been able to afford to buy a house.
Here's what I bought. 7 of the one on top and 2 of the bottom. I'm thinking maybe a hat and scarf. I can't wait to start. Then I need to finish my blanket. That will require a trip to the other yarn store first.

Attitude maintenance

Somehow, I managed to maintain a good sense of humor yesterday as the problems continued to pile up. After drying off from the rain shower, Dorian and I enjoyed a few lazy hours at home before leaving to get Sebastian. Let Round 2 begin! Ding ding!

First, Dorian decides it is time to nap just as I'm trying to leave. Much persuading later, we arrive at camp to discover that Sebastian's bathing suit is missing. He took it off and then it magically disappeared. No counselor or camper has any knowledge of its whereabouts. Fine. These things happen.

We take a trip to a certain outlet store in the hopes of scoring a $5 replacement bathing suit. No such luck. Despite being late in the season, they are still $10 and ugly. Sebastian announces to the store that he needs to pee, so we detour to the skanky outlet center bathroom and then clear out.

Jeremy was stuck in an 11.5 hour meeting yesterday, so I decide to take the kids to Friendly's. Just before we were going to order our ice cream, Dorian looks a little green. I catch the first wave of vomit in my right hand, while yanking the wax paper out of my "basket" with my left so I can catch the rest in there. How lucky for me that I had boned up on my vomit catching skills the day before! Practice makes perfect. We got our ice cream to go, left a generous tip, and hit the road.

Dorian's bed time last night? 5:40.

We're playing it safe today. Nothing fancy to eat, no real exertion. The stomach acid is spoiling my manicure.

Sometimes you really don't want to fit in

Yesterday, I took the boys over to the dread WalMart to get Sebastian a backpack and lunch bag to take to camp next week. Dorian's on again/off again relationship with potty training was apparently on again, resulting in a lot of misgivings on my part about whether to allow him to wear underwear to the store. His track record is not good, but I don't want to discourage him either.

We compromise with underwear covered by rubber pants and his shorts and head out. I asked him twice if he needed to use the potty. Both times he said no. And then it happened. In the sporting goods aisle he yells, "Oh, no! I'm peeing in my underpants!" Fantastic.*

I trot him off to the bathroom to discover that he has peed so much that it has seeped out of the rubber pants and soaked the shorts, too. I brought a diaper, just in case, so I put that on, but now he was also shorts-less.

And so it was that I was one of those WalMart mothers. You know, the ones with the kid (who looks too old to be in diapers) marching around wearing only a diaper, a t-shirt and sandals. And to top it off, he fished around in my bag while we were in line until he came up with some cheap, yellow plastic sunglasses Sebastian got at the dentist.

So now my pants-less, sunglasses-sporting child is parading around while I walk out with a bag full of urine soaked clothing. It's a charmed life I lead. Your envy is so justified.

*This was actually a step in the right direction for himsince he usually doesn't even notice.

Lower expectations=better experiences

8 hours after we left for the birthday party today, we finally made it home. And I have to say, it was a nice party. I have no need ever to return to the overpriced Build a Bear workshop, but Sebastian had a wonderful time and it was a very well organized establishment. While all the other kids were staring in that inimitably childlike way that somehow encompasses fear, confusion and longing, Sebastian was participating his little heart out. A dance party? Sure, he'll jump around. Ask the kids if they're ready to be loud? The other ones nod their heads while my boy shouts, "YEAHHHH!!!!" When paired up with a child he'd never met he hugged her and said, "Thank you for being my partner for the Fluffing Station, Natalie." He was in heaven.

When it was time to leave, the workers put the kids' bears in their little boxes and put their name tags on the box. It was only then that Sebastian realized he would get to take the bear he'd named "Mary" home. He was so excited. I think he thought that he was just helping these people do their jobs or something. It was very sweet.


And I definitely think that when I thought I was "just a dummy who didn't think things through" that I was correct. I wasn't thinking about all the other parents who would also need to eat at Friendly's. So I ended up eating with the 2 moms I like best of that group, and one other woman I'd never met.

It all took way longer than anticipated, so that by the time we finished with the party and made a quick stop at Forever 21 (2 t shirts, 1 sundress and a necklace for $28), it was already 2:30. Jeremy thought we were coming home at 3. The mall is an hour away and we hadn't yet gone to Trader Joe's. We could not go home without pickles. Then we hit a traffic disaster which made the 10 minute trip to TJ's take an hour. We got home at 5.

It was totally worth going. Some days I can be so frustrated with Sebastian's behavior. Today, he was so happy and so polite and so well behaved that my faith in him was renewed. He was the life of the party and everyone was as happy to have him there as he was to be there.