Yes, I'm still alive.

I was just waiting for at least 10 people to complain that they hadn't read anything lately. I'm just vain like that, I guess.

Not really. I just haven't been in the mood. And I didn't feel like boring everyone with my minutiae for a while. But if you want it, here it is:

Crazy neighbor update: No nudity lately, but there is a pile of garbage as tall as the house behind ours that includes a big screen TV among other things, and is so voluminous that it is hard to imagine it all fitting in the tiny house (which is where I assume it came from). However, I have seen enough episodes of Hoarders to know that it is more than possible.

Also, I witnessed the boy who sucks on nails come out of his house barefoot, walk into the snow, scoop some up with his bare hands and go back inside with it. I will never figure those people out.

Dorian and Kindergarten update: Dorian will not be attending Kindergarten next year. The board declined to make an exception. This disappoints me on selfish levels, but is fine. He'll be fine regardless. Now we just have to decide if he'll continue at the same preschool, and if so, for how many days a week.

Work update: I'm still holding down the fort on Sundays which continues to be okay despite the fact that sometimes people show up at closing time with massive knitting disasters they expect me to fix. Like the woman who was making a blanket on circular needles, but blankets are flat (you know this, I know this, everyone but she knows this), and two inches in she started making it in the round and didn't understand why that was a problem. Time to put down the needles, ma'am.

Knitting update: I "finished" the red riding hood. You will notice it has no closure of any kind, which means it isn't really finished. I'm thinking of knitting some frogs with the abundance of left over yarn, but it probably also needs a zipper. In the meantime, I used a kilt pin to hold it together when I wore it as a jacket yesterday. It was quite warm.

And in honor of the Olympics, I made this rainbow cowl. Rarely do I buy yarn without a specific project in mind, but I just loved these colors. It is a fairly expensive yarn, so I only bought one ball which is only 95 yards. So I needed a small project. I wanted to keep the rainbow intact, so I knit this as a long rectangle (like half a scarf) and then grafted it together to make a tube. But the K3P1 rib that I made was a little too stiff, so I dropped all the purled stitches and now it is nice and drapey. I am pleased.

There you have it. Maybe I'll even update the kids' blog now...

My hands are sore

I'm not sure that the 4 to 5 hours of knitting I did yesterday were entirely advisable, however I do have something to show for it.

I finished the body of my little red riding hood. Jeremy's boss gave me a ton of red yarn she decided she would never use, so I am using two strands at once to make this bulky, top-down jacket. I'm just expanding on the bulky shrug pattern that I made a while ago to add long sleeves and a hood.

And I finished my socks this morning. All that was left last night was the toe of the second sock, but the pain in my wrist at 10pm told me it was better to stop and pick it up again in the morning. I'm glad I listened to myself for a change.

And, look! They match almost exactly!

Finally, check out this scrumptious little stack:

All it needs is an ice cream cone underneath. This pile will eventually become a color work beret sample for the store. If I don't eat it first.

Finally!

I love it, Jeremy! Thank you!

Color of the day

Knitting has recently become somewhat compulsive for me-- partly because I wanted to finish a lot of Xmas knitting and partly now force of habit. I hardly read anything... It took a month to finish the last book I read and the magazines languish next to the couch sometimes for months before being touched. (This changed a little yesterday when Katrina showed up at my house with EZ's Knitter's Almanac which I almost finished before bed last night, so I guess the reading just needs to be about knitting, too.) Anyway, here's what's on the needles, or recently off of them:

My cousin sent me two skeins of wool that I decided to turn into arm warmers. Normally, I would knit these from the bottom up, but since I wanted to use the whole skein and not knit a thumb, I went from the top down, left a thumb hole, and knit until I ran out of wool, so they are a nice elbow length. However, I can't decide what I think of the colorway. It isn't really me. And it keeps making me think of Trix in chocolate milk. The jury's still out.

This is the cowl that I designed as a store pattern. It is a feather and fan stitch pattern that makes little scallops. Even though I designed the pattern, I am still not following it properly because I didn't want it to be as wide as the original one I made. So I left out one pattern repeat. I'm not sure why I'm making this since i didn't really enjoy making it last time, but the result is nice and it's an easy project to keep in my purse for emergency knitting.

And here are the socks I started yesterday. I love my brown mary janes, but all my socks are too brightly colored and clash, so I'm making this neutral stripe. Not very exciting, but functional.

And this little lovely is the unbearably soft alpaca yarn my mother gave me for Xmas as part of a shawl kit. I have never made a shawl, but was thinking about it, and now the decision has been very nicely and luxuriously made for me. Can't wait to get this one on the needles. I just need to get the needles first...

And since I'm quite sure you've seen enough brown today...

These are the arm warmers I designed for Kaci. It was hard to part with them. She always signs her emails with X's and O's so I used this cable to represent that. It isn't a true x and o cable, but I liked it.

Unfortunately, though, I was in such a rush to wrap gifts that you will just have to imagine the felted pouch I made for Christine and the headband I made for Amanda (both my design) and the hat, scarf and skirt set I made for Lydia's American Girl dolls.

A prize in and of themselves

So, I didn't get them done in time for the contest. Oh, well. They are a prize on their own-- so soft and warm. I finished them last night, but I won't be wearing them today since it is almost 60 degrees outside for some strange reason.

And once the socks were off the needles, I immediately made this little cutie:

An ornament for the store. I'm in the middle of a tiny stocking also. I'm trying to use up all my extra bits of sock yarn left over from other projects. And in the midst of all that I need to find the time to finish all my Xmas knitting for presents...

Sweater show

Sunday night I finished the raglan sweater for myself:

I really need to wash and block it so the sleeves will stop creeping up my arms, but otherwise I'm happy with it.

And Wednesday after lunch I started this little green number and finished it this morning-- a mere 47 hours later. I think that's a new record for me and sweater making. (Probably because it has short sleeves, but let's not diminish my victory shall we?)

A quick and easy knit on big needles with bulky yarn, it is very cosy and I plan to wear it today.

We can thank Dorian for the photos which made the first sweater look lighter and the second look darker. But you get the gist of it.

Fits like a glove... but it's a sock.

After the multiple distractions of samples for the yarn store, I finally finished sock #1 of my mystery socks.

As I have said before, I think I would like the finished product better in a more solid colored yarn, but that isn't what I used and I do love this yarn anyway.

And because I was done with one sock and one sleeve, I obviously deserved to cash in my chips at the store and take my yarn that I get in trade for the samples. More distractions!

Now the question is: More selfish projects, or do I actually make things for others for the holidays?

Why you couldn't pay me enough to knit sweaters for anyone larger than a 6 month old

Yesterday, all the pieces of Sebastian's cardigan were done, so at 8am I commenced putting it all together. It is my least favorite part of the process and involves a lot of hand sewing. Can you guess when I was finally finished? 9:30pm. Yes, 9:30. I will not pretend to have worked on it the entire time, but I did put in an hour from 8-9am, work on it off and on until 1:15pm, did a half hour's work while making dinner, schlepped it to Sebastian's soccer game, took it to knitting circle, and finally brought it home to insert the zipper during Survivor and something called Husbands Who Murder.

And here it is:

Note the "DNA" running down the side:
A handsome sweater for a handsome boy. Let's hope it makes it home from school today.

Yes, I have fallen off the face of the earth. Why do you ask?

Remember when I told a fellow board member what was what about how I wanted nothing to do with a certain event? Well, the event apparently is not letting me go so easily. Poor Hott Mama, wanted by diminutive Hispanics and overlarge fundraisers alike... I have been spending the last week sifting through an average of 15 emails a day on this mind-numbing topic, at least several of which require some response on my part.

Today, though, I got to escape to my hobby job and ignore that shit for 6 solid hours. I also managed to:

• finish that bulky baby sweater*.
• use the sample to sell 2 copies of the pattern and enough yarn for 3 versions.
• help some people with their knitting troubles.
• assist a woman in a one-person fashion show of all the adult-sized samples in the store.
• sell 5 out of the 6 skeins of this yarn that we had in stock.
• have the exact same conversation with the 3 different women who bought that yarn about how those yarns usually are more red, but the ones they bought were blue, green, or white.
• start knitting a sheep, which sounds a little backwards I know, but it should be cute when it's done.
• make more in sales than it cost the owner to pay me to be there all day which is more than I can say for last week.

And now it is time to fall asleep in front of Mad Men so that I can wake up refreshed and ready to perform the newest installment of nature puppet shows in the morning.

* Whether the "bulky" refers to the weight of the yarn or of the child is anyone's guess. The finished product certainly looked like it was designed to accommodate Humpty Dumpty, Jr.

Today was one of those days...

... where I actually felt like I was doing something right. It is easy for me to get bogged down in the little dumb stuff in life and parenting. And it is even easier to get bogged down in the big dumb stuff. For example, I am happy that the kids have been much better behaved since I pitched a fit last Thursday, but I don't feel particularly good that I frightened them by threatening to leave them on the side of the road. I know that I don't always make the best choices or do the perfect thing, and that is really hard for me to accept so I have a tendency to beat myself up a little.

But there are days where I just want to cry because I think my kids are so goddamn lucky to lead the life they do. (Crazy mother and all.) And today was one of those days.

Crazy mother went out with several other crazy mothers last night, and when I say went out, I mean until last call. So I wasn't home until midnight and didn't go to sleep until later than that and woke up as tired as when my head hit the pillow. But I got some pants on and went and picked up Amanda and her boys and we all headed up to Putney to go to the orchard there. The plums weren't ripe, but there were blueberries, so Amanda and I picked nearly a gallon apiece while the kids played amongst the bushes in the glorious sunshine.

And after a quick return to the farm stand for an urgent bathroom visit (inevitable with 4 kids in tow) we put the kids in 2 wagons to go look for the reindeer. We didn't see them, but the kids were enjoying the wagon ride and I thought that Sebastian and Riley would probably have more fun (and I wouldn't hurt my back so much) if they tried to ride the wagon down the hill by themselves. And so Sebastian was the Hobbes to Riley's Calvin. And they loved it! And all I could think was that this was what summer should be-- riding in a red wagon down a dirt track amidst a beautiful orchard in this beautiful state that we are fortunate enough to call home. What more could these kids ask for than 2 mamas who love them enough to take them to an orchard to run and play and crash a wagon into a fence while the mamas pick berries for jam to enjoy all winter? Will they think of today when they eat a piece of toast with jam 3 months from now? Will I remember to? Who knows? But it is very nice to be able to appreciate these times as they happen. And now I sound too much like a certain other blogger who tends toward the sappy and often makes me gag a little but takes very pretty pictures, so I will leave you with this pretty picture in her honor:

A ginormous dragonfly I found in the grass...

(But I won't leave before telling you that as usual I have bit off more than I can chew by not only buying enough blueberries to make 4 pints of jam, but also a half bushel of apples I now have to turn into applesauce. It was only $8... how could I pass up the opportunity to add more work to my life for that price? And I finished making up Dorian's sweater... other than the zipper and button... but it is sewn together.)

The vacation so far

So far on this trip I have:

• Done some of the best boogie boarding of my life.
• Put in some "work" on my tan.
• Gone on a date with Jeremy that involved outlet shopping, an Indian dinner, wandering around Portsmouth with a yummy ice cream cone, and a walk on the beach in the moonlight.
• Given my children 4 desserts in one day-- the ice cream cone cookies pictured below for breakfast dessert, Starburst for lunch dessert, a pint of ice cream masquerading as a "kiddie" cone in the afternoon, and a slice of fudge cake after dinner. Can you say, "Vay-cay-shun"?

• Received a fantabulous present from my sister-in-law of some totally amazing crafting books, as well as some gorgeous yarn from her trip to Ireland. Lucky me!
• Had the following conversation while trying to boogie board:: Man: So, where did you get your board? Me: squinting without my glasses It's my father-in-law's. Man: Oh, because this one belongs to my friend, but it's only rated up to 150 lbs and I'm bigger than that. :: Now, I don't know what he wanted me to say; perhaps, [sultrily] "Just how big a man are you?" I never should have let Dorian talk me into wearing the cute suit today. Either way, when he continued to try to befriend me, I just rode the next wave to the shore and gave Jeremy a turn. Oddly, he didn't try to make Jeremy's acquaintance.
• Finished a pair of arm warmers for the fall with the yarn I got for free. I love the yarn and I am quite happy with the arm warmers. I am also quite happy that I do not need them at this particular moment.

Now I've got my DDR shirt on and I'm ready to head down to the boardwalk and the shooting gallery (not the heroin kind) and the fireworks.

Busy busy busy

It has been yet another busy weekend around the Hott Pocket house.

Jeremy and I began painting the garage, which I think is looking pretty awesome, but makes the actual house look poopy. We have less than half to go, but I definitely need Jeremy's help to reach the tippy top because I do not want to tip like a top off the ladder. This is not the best picture in the world, but it is the most accurate color-wise.

Yesterday, I was lured by cupcakes to the yarn store which was hosting an event with someone from a local organic wool company. Marin was very nice and very talented and the cupcakes were very delicious. I found myself a little jealous of her and the yarn store owner who both get to knit all day and get paid for it. However, if I were to be paid for knitting, I know one of two things would happen: a) I would immediately lose my inspiration/resent knitting or b) I would develop a horrible case of arthritis. I was also tortured somewhat by the obnoxious truth that there are more projects in the world than I can ever hope to produce. So, to remind me of that I have more yarn in my possession now as we each got to pick 2 skeins to bring home and they are totally mocking me while I slog through the sleeves for the summer sweater. I am staying strong and not working on anything else, even though I just got all this:

The yellow and the 3 skeins of gray are the boys' future sweaters. The multi-colored ball in the middle is a self-striping yarn I found in the clearance bin which is begging to be a pair of mittens for the boys. And the 2 skeins on the right are the 2 freebies I got which are a cotton/wool blend and very plushy and are asking to be made into fingerless mitts/arm warmers/coziness that I think I may keep for myself.

And today, after painting the garage in the morning, I met Christine to see Away We Go at the matinee. I really enjoyed it. It was very funny and I love Maya Rudolph and her character was very Christine who I also love. I do not love John Krasinski, but I thought he did a good job. The first 2 couples they go visit are way over the top and a bit much, but I have to admit that I have met people like that, so it wasn't entirely unrealistic. Overall, it is a good exploration of family and home and life and how even perfect isn't perfect. I highly recommend this one. And I don't care what Jeremy's wheel has to say about it in the future.

A difference of opinion

I'm holding a squirmy little Dorian on my lap, and I say, "You are a crazy monkey."

Dorian: I'm not a crazy monkey!

Me: You're a pretty monkey.

D: I'm not a monkey!

M: Okay, you're a pretty boy.

D: No, I'm an odd-looking boy.

I refuse to agree with that.

The home and garden report

Today's news brought to you by my dirty fingernails and eyeglasses.

It has been raining a lot here. Some might say too much. The only thing I can think of that is good about it is that I never have to water the garden. And lots of things are blooming!

The day lilies:

The rosebush I uncovered last year, and the bachelor buttons Dorian and I planted this year:

The miniature rosebush Christine gave me as a housewarming present last year:


And the copious amounts of grass I cannot seem to keep out of the kitchen garden. It rains so much that I can barely keep on top of mowing the lawn, much less weed. Because I'll tell you what: the kids want to go to the lake and so do I and it sucks to have to waste precious lake time weeding the damn garden. So, after I took this picture, I went back out and spent an hour weeding between rainstorms. The peas are almost finished, so I will be planting another batch soon. There are green tomatoes on all the plants except for Mr. Stripey. The second round of radishes is doing well, and there are baby cucumbers on 2 of the plants. God, that looks shameful!

And, I was a little overly eager in picking this carrot:

Lots of greenery, but not much of a root.

And now we go inside, where Jeremy and I have almost finished the wallpaper stripping and spackling in the music room. Soon, it will be painted and I can get the drum set out of my bedroom.

And because I don't want to leave you with that picture, here is a more pleasant one:

Jam! And lots of it. Last year, I didn't get to make any strawberry jam, so this year I have gone a little nuts. So far I have made

• 2 12oz jars,
• 4 8oz jars,
• and 4 4oz jars of strawberry rhubarb jam
• 8 8oz jars of strawberry jam

All of which required 5 lbs of sugar. Yum! That should last us until blueberry season at least. We now return you to your regularly scheduled web surfing.

Just because I have 18 projects in the works doesn't mean I can't have one more

I started on my shirt yesterday. And by started I mean that I cut out the pattern pieces, read through the pattern, realized I was missing 2 very important elements (bias tape and interfacing), and also realized that I don't know what I'm doing with either of those things and may be way over my head with what I thought was a pretty simple pattern. This will only be my second pattern ever, so I recognize that I am still learning and may make some mistakes. But I love this fabric and I really don't want to fuck it up. So wish me luck!

Some pleasant distractions

Let's pretend for a moment while we look at the pretty flowers that that's all I need to think about, shall we? Rather than focus on the shit in my life, both literal (ie. sewage in the basement) and figurative (ie. paying for the removal of sewage from the basement), I will now try to enjoy the brief bit of 90 degree weather and the blooms that came with it. I suggest you do the same.