What happens when your baby goes to camp and your husband goes out for a drink

Yesterday, I became the sort of mother who freaks out that her "baby" is growing up. That's right. Look at him, so eager to leave me and go be with other younger, fresher, teenagerier women. This morning, he was in such a rush I had to holler to him to come back and give his Mama a kiss goodbye. Of course, I am proud of my independent boy, I just wish he had the sense to be more diplomatic and at least pretend he would miss me for those 2 and a half hours.

And then I reached my lowest low when Jeremy went out for a drink with a former co-worker. I... (Please forgive me!) watched... (I was bored and needed something in the background while I was knitting!) a certain show... (I swear it will never happen again!) on TLC... (It was a mistake, I admit it!) about a certain family and now the parents are getting a divorce. There! The truth is out. Man, that show sucks. I felt dirty just being in the same room with it.

The summer sweater

...for a summer which seems like it will never start. School ended on Friday. Dorian's camp started today. And yet it still barely reaches 70 and there is rain forecast everyday. Boo to that!

Maybe the weather is waiting for me to finish my sweater. If so, it will have to be extremely patient and perhaps wait until October. Last night, I finished the back. (Remember that it is A-line and that shape is not supposed to reflect my spare tire.) Now I just have 2 fronts and 2 sleeves and lots of sewing up to do.

It never ends...

Yesterday, by some useless miracle, I ended up being awake before the children. This would have been something to enjoy, except for the fact that it was the last day of school and Sebastian had a perfect attendance record to maintain, so he couldn't very well sleep the day away.

I head upstairs and open their door to Dorian saying, "Oh, no... I peed my pants." Coming from a child sitting in the middle of his bed, this of course meant stripping all the sheets and blankets and the addition of 2 more loads to my laundry day. Inwardly groaning, I tell him to hurry up and get downstairs and get out of his wet clothes.

[Cue Sebastian.]

"Mom, I don't understand why my pajamas are wet."

Good Christ, can this even be possible? Two wet beds on one day? When they both are consistently dry?

"Well, I guess you wet the bed, too."

"No, I didn't! I didn't pee! I didn't feel that happen!"

I turn from yanking bedclothes off of Dorian's bed to see Sebastian, sopping wet from nipples to mid-thigh.

"Sebastian, look where you are wet. You must have peed. It's not a big deal. [I mean, really, what's 2 more loads of laundry at this point?] Just go clean yourself up."

"But I swear it! I didn't pee."

And, thus, the first indignity of the day: kneeling down to a face full of ammonia smell, enough to singe the nose hairs. And so he was convinced, and so I donned my washerwoman attire.

Thomas the (Toilet) Tank Engine

What is it about my children that if they play at either of the train tables available at the two locations of the stationery/toy/candy store in town, they have to shit? For Sebastian, that means an accident in the store and, therefore, he has not been allowed to visit either of the train tables for over a year.

I thought I would be safe taking just Dorian today to get Sebastian's teacher an end of year gift. Sebastian wanted to give her a box of chocolates, so we headed off to the store where Dorian could occupy himself with the trains while I gazed longingly at all the chocolates that were not destined to enter my mouth and chose something for the teacher instead.

Ten minutes in, I was almost ready to make my selections when from across the busy store I hear, "MOMMMMMM!!! I need to POOOOOOOOOOP!!!" And so it was that I found myself wedged into a small stall in the next-door grocery store's bathroom asking myself how it is that this happens every goddamn time.

Is it germs? Is it weird subliminal messages? Is it a bizarre Pavlovian response based on prior experiences? Or is it just my bad luck?

My work here is done. Well, almost. I mean... sort of.

Today was the last All School Sing of the school year. Rock and Roll. Outside. I helped one of Sebastian's classmates win the dance contest. It was fun.

Then I went to a 2 hour (reduced from 3) meeting of the mostly new and slightly improved PTA board of which I am now Treasurer. It went reasonably smoothly and I only said "Keep It Simple Stupid" once and cussed 3 times, so it was better than I expected. Especially since I didn't cuss at anyone. I am currently under the impression that, after meeting with the former treasurer next week to get the lowdown on the books, I don't have to do anything PTA related until mid-August.

Tomorrow is my last healthy snack day of the year. And Friday is the last day of school until August 31. I am picking up the boy and we are kicking off the summer right and proper.

(Try not to remind me about how I will have 2 kids on my hands and lots of chauffeuring to camps. I am keeping my eyes on the sipping Dr. Pepper lakeside aspect of summer...)

Making headway

I resolved that this weekend I would complete a project because I am feeling a little overwhelmed by how many I have going currently. I also wanted to make progress on a couple more and have been pretty successful so far.

Yesterday, I inadvertently participated in Worldwide Knitting in Public Day by taking my summer sweater project to the lake. I am close to finishing the back, and that is certainly progress.

Then I came home and worked on my shirt for a while until the machine fought back and I surrendered. I got up this morning and finished the hemming by hand, which is actually the proper way to do it and the machine was really just stopping me from cheating. Remember, kids, cheaters never win.

So here it is:

I took on the bias tape and the interfacing and I survived. One project down, one million to go... Pardon me while I go back to stripping wallpaper.

Just because I have 18 projects in the works doesn't mean I can't have one more

I started on my shirt yesterday. And by started I mean that I cut out the pattern pieces, read through the pattern, realized I was missing 2 very important elements (bias tape and interfacing), and also realized that I don't know what I'm doing with either of those things and may be way over my head with what I thought was a pretty simple pattern. This will only be my second pattern ever, so I recognize that I am still learning and may make some mistakes. But I love this fabric and I really don't want to fuck it up. So wish me luck!