Today was one of those days...

... where I actually felt like I was doing something right. It is easy for me to get bogged down in the little dumb stuff in life and parenting. And it is even easier to get bogged down in the big dumb stuff. For example, I am happy that the kids have been much better behaved since I pitched a fit last Thursday, but I don't feel particularly good that I frightened them by threatening to leave them on the side of the road. I know that I don't always make the best choices or do the perfect thing, and that is really hard for me to accept so I have a tendency to beat myself up a little.

But there are days where I just want to cry because I think my kids are so goddamn lucky to lead the life they do. (Crazy mother and all.) And today was one of those days.

Crazy mother went out with several other crazy mothers last night, and when I say went out, I mean until last call. So I wasn't home until midnight and didn't go to sleep until later than that and woke up as tired as when my head hit the pillow. But I got some pants on and went and picked up Amanda and her boys and we all headed up to Putney to go to the orchard there. The plums weren't ripe, but there were blueberries, so Amanda and I picked nearly a gallon apiece while the kids played amongst the bushes in the glorious sunshine.

And after a quick return to the farm stand for an urgent bathroom visit (inevitable with 4 kids in tow) we put the kids in 2 wagons to go look for the reindeer. We didn't see them, but the kids were enjoying the wagon ride and I thought that Sebastian and Riley would probably have more fun (and I wouldn't hurt my back so much) if they tried to ride the wagon down the hill by themselves. And so Sebastian was the Hobbes to Riley's Calvin. And they loved it! And all I could think was that this was what summer should be-- riding in a red wagon down a dirt track amidst a beautiful orchard in this beautiful state that we are fortunate enough to call home. What more could these kids ask for than 2 mamas who love them enough to take them to an orchard to run and play and crash a wagon into a fence while the mamas pick berries for jam to enjoy all winter? Will they think of today when they eat a piece of toast with jam 3 months from now? Will I remember to? Who knows? But it is very nice to be able to appreciate these times as they happen. And now I sound too much like a certain other blogger who tends toward the sappy and often makes me gag a little but takes very pretty pictures, so I will leave you with this pretty picture in her honor:

A ginormous dragonfly I found in the grass...

(But I won't leave before telling you that as usual I have bit off more than I can chew by not only buying enough blueberries to make 4 pints of jam, but also a half bushel of apples I now have to turn into applesauce. It was only $8... how could I pass up the opportunity to add more work to my life for that price? And I finished making up Dorian's sweater... other than the zipper and button... but it is sewn together.)