It's spine-tingling!

When the alarm went off this morning, one of the first things we heard was an advertisement for Showtime, describing one of their shows as eye-popping, jaw-dropping, and heart-stopping... or something like that. For whatever reason, this struck both Jeremy and me as totally, hilariously unpleasant. Then we spent the next few minutes coming up with our own versions until Dorian came upstairs demanding to know what we were laughing about. Here are some of the better ones:

• intestine-tangling
• skull-crushing
• hair-cutting
• shoulder-dislocating
• bowel-emptying

What physical torment would it take to get you to watch a show?