There'll Be Days Like This

Jeremy's company holiday party was last night, so last weekend I needed to find something to wear so I wouldn't have to wear the same old tired top I wear to everything and wore last year. I had read about Sarah Jessica Parker's (henceforth to be referred to as SJP as I have a tendency to turn her first name into Sarica if I'm not careful) clothing line in a magazine and was surprised by how simultaneously tasteful and affordable it was. Now, I do not personally hold SJP up as the fashion icon that some do, but I was willing to give her stuff a shot considering I have not successfully purchased any dressy clothes in a very long time. I looked her horribly named line, Bitten, up online and discovered it is only available at the equally horribly named store Steve & Barry's. S&B is only located at the Hadley Mall, the strangest mall I've ever been to. The Hadley Mall is also the site of the nearest Trader Joe's, so we packed up the kids and off we went.
Steve & Barry's is horrifying. The men's side looks like a fraternity's closets threw up and the women's side features lines by the dubiously qualified SJP, Amanda Bynes and Venus Williams. They do not sell anything that costs more than $19.98. There were down coats available for $9.98. On sale from $14.98. The dressing rooms were littered with bits of tags and dust bunnies (or as the British call it, slut's wool, a much more evocative name).
So, the SJP dress fit and was flattering, was fully lined, and even had little thingees to hold my bra straps up, all for only $19.98. And the $14.98 glitter shoes came from Amanda Bynes' teeny-bopper line. So for $35, I was ready to go. But I definitely felt like I needed a shower afterwards to wash off the blood of little Chinese children.
When I came out of the dressing room to model the outfit for Jeremy, Sebastian was immediately outraged. "You can't wear that dress! It doesn't have sleeves! It's winter! And I want one!"