Maybe it wasn't the nicest thing to do...

But I don't think you can blame me much. See, earlier in the week, mother of the Children Across the Street (who are similar to the Children of the Corn) tells me that she forgot to drop off an invitation to the youngest's birthday party which was happening today. I noncommittally told her I wasn't sure what we were doing but I'd let her know. (Read: not going. Nuh-uh. No way in hell.) I hoped that was the end of it.

I had no real intention of going. Those kids make me feel "ooky" as my grandmother would say. The youngest came over to play again Thursday (because I can't possibly take Dorian out to play without someone showing up). This time she wore no shoes or a coat again but at least it was 45 degrees. Her face is covered in crust and her lips are chapped from smearing her runny nose with her shirt since Jews don't believe in tissues. I suspect they also don't believe in laundry detergent, but I have no proof of that.* So she starts asking why Sebastian won't come out to play. I told her he was at school. "Why?" she asks, "It's boring." I said, "Have you ever been to school?" "No. I'm home schooled. That's because we're Jewish. I'm a Jew. But I'm not sure if you are."** Now, either her parents are filling her head with lies or she thinks everything she does has to do with her religion. Either way, I'm getting tired of it.

The last thing I wanted to do was have my family involved with a 3 hour party to which only one other child was being invited. I certainly didn't want to be in a house where there may not be toilet paper, nor did I want to send my children alone into that lion's den, so I decided to play the avoidance game. "I'll just pretend I forgot" was the preferred strategy. No such luck.

As I'm plating dinner last night, she comes knocking asking whether we'd be coming. Jeremy mumbles something while Sebastian announces he's "organically grown-- straight from the banana patch." I steadfastly continue to prepare the meal, trying to pretend she isn't 10 feet away from me outside my kitchen door. Finally, Jeremy says, "You don't really need to know right now, do you?" and she left.

So despite the fact that I just wanted a lazy weekend at home, we had to come up with somewhere to be for the whole afternoon. I didn't want to be a complete asshole, so I went over to let them know we wouldn't be coming before we headed to another state. Lucky for me, the speech-impaired boy came out just as I stepped in their yard so I gave the message to him. Whether his mother could understand it or not is none of my concern.

*This particular family, not Jews in general.
**I'm not, but my husband Jewremy might be.