The longest morning

It is done.

I dropped off the paperwork and a check and potentially signed my life away this morning. Jeremy tried to sign his life away exactly one year in the future, but I corrected that for him. I'm nice that way. Besides, if he thinks he gets to wait a year and see how it all shakes out, he's got another think coming. It's his money I'm spending, after all.

I'm not going to embarrass you (or myself) with the details of the roller coaster my stomach has been riding. Nor will I give you the details of today's transaction. (I wouldn't want you to have a realistic idea of how much money you could hit us up for.) But I will tell you that despite the promise of lollipops for good behavior at the myriad errands this morning required, my kids acted like complete hellions at every stop.

Dorian especially had the devil in him (surprise, surprise), running off at every opportunity. First, he took off into the bowels of the cubicles at the oil company while one of the women yelled at me, "There's a stairwell back there, ma'am!" Great. He runs off, but I get yelled at and called "ma'am". This was followed by his refusal to hold hands to cross the street, resulting in my grabbing his sleeve in a very unflattering way. Off to the post office, the post office I try to avoid as much as possible because of one particular clerk who shall henceforth be referred to as "Dummy". Dummy has both offered a year-old Dorian Star Wars stamps (because he should have known who Darth Vader is, right?) and, when asked for the cheapest possible delivery of $1.79, kept trying to upsell me to the $22 next day delivery. Today, Dummy's genius plan to make my morning even worse topped everything he'd ever done before. I'm next in a very long line. A woman comes from the back, opens a register, then disappears again. Dorian and Sebastian choose this time to "play chase". I snatch Dorian up as he swings by again, and the customer at Dummy's desk finishes and walks away. Dummy looks up at me and I walk over, foolishly believing he intends to help me. Ha ha. Dummy says, "I need to fill out this form before I go to lunch." And puts up his "next window please" sign. And starts filling out the form right there. Leaving one window open. Unbelievable.

And did I mention that after we finally got home Dorian started chanting what sounded like "Six six six" over and over again? I kid you not.