Things I said to Dorian today and where

• "Take your face out of the toilet."-- public bathroom
• "Next October."-- explaining for the umpteenth time when Halloween will be happening again
• "At the end of the month."-- explaining yet again when Xmas will be
• "What if I cut off the leaky parts?"-- in the kitchen while negotiating his PB&J lunch
• "Not right now!"-- answer to the interminable question "Can I go on PBSKids?"
• "Don't put pretzel sticks in your ears."-- living room
• "Don't put pretzels in any holes in your body."-- living room 1 minute later after seeing them hanging from his nostrils