there'll be days like this

the children are short, the days are long

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Did I say too many hours to go?

Because it is also too many minutes and too many seconds.
You know what they say about the best laid plans... Guess who decided not to nap after all today? So guess who packed to the kids off for the library 2 hours earlier than planned? And guess who was mortified by her child's behavior at said library?
Lovely, darling Sebastian.... the child who plays drums as hard as he can... the child who tried to deafen his brother by tooting a recorder directly in his ear... the child who whines at me to turn up the radio... is also the child who is disturbed by every noise out of his control. He covers his ears all the time in response to sirens, other children yelling, etc. So, we're hanging out in the library where the computers aren't working and Sebastian was already disappointed, but happily reading. Then this mother walks in with her preteen son who is disabled. I don't know what his disability is, but he can't walk unassisted, drools, is relatively spastic, and can't talk. We see them out occassionally, and it always disturbs Sebastian because the boy grunts a lot and his laughter doesn't exactly sound happy. This boy is always very happy and "laughing" and loves to see other kids. He comes in today, makes one loud grunt and then is silent, playing with some blocks. Sebastian looks up from his book and freaks out, covering his ears and looking terrified. I decide to ignore the whole situation in the hopes that he will go back to his reading and Dorian and I can go back to ours. No such luck. Sebastian feels the need to say loudly within earshot of the boy and his mother, "Do you see what's here? Look in front of you!" I said, "Yes, that's E____." "I don't like his noises!" I pointed out that he had been quiet now for some time, and that Sebastian needed to relax. I reminded him that E____ is disabled and so he does some things differently. At this point, my child decides to put up a big stink about leaving and how noisy this other boy is, refusing to see that in fact HE was the noisy one, and all the while keeping his hands firmly planted on his ears. I tried to get him to think about how he would feel if other people had the same reaction to him, but there is only so much I can reasonably expect from a 5 year old. We finally got our books checked out and got the hell out of there, but not before I apologized to that poor mother. I'm sure she understands that he's little, but it must break her heart for people to have that reaction to her son. And then I feel bad because that is certainly not the attitude I'm trying to raise my children with. But I also need to respect that Sebastian is sensitive to those noises, and frankly, they are a little disturbing. If you didn't see his face, you would have no idea how happy this kid really is.
It's just so frustrating. I try and try, and yet I continually fail.

No comments: