This has not been my best morning. It was certainly productive, but it was not good. Oh no.
I finally took the two bags of clothes to the Drop In Center for the people who can use them more than the corner of my room can. Then we went to the library where we returned the library books on the due date and found some nice replacements. Yeah, yeah, sounds terrible, right? Here's where Hell starts breaking loose:
I tell Sebastian he has 2 minutes to finish what he's doing and I go tell Dorian it's time to leave. Magically, the child actually starts putting away the blocks, so I get fooled into thinking we are on our way. Of course not, as it is obviously time for Sebastian to start pulling all the blocks back out of the box. I tell him it is time to go. He resists. I take his hand and guide him over to his coat. He screams that I am "horribler" than he. I wrestle them both into their coats and we finally leave.
On to the co-op which is now experiencing the usual lunch-hour rush. All I needed was some oats and a bottle of milk and I promised Dorian some prunes. (He loves prunes. What can I say?) I also told the kids they could get a bagel for lunch, but Sebastian was warned at the library that his behavior had better improve if he wanted to have any. We head into the bulk section and over to the table of dried fruits. We get Dorian's prunes and some apricots and Sebastian decides he wants some papaya. He starts to take a bag of the sweetened, sulphured kind, so I told him we needed to get the organic, unsulphured variety. I pick up a bag and he yells, "No! That's not even papaya!" I show him the label. "I don't care. It's not papaya. I don't want it." I put it back and move over to the oats. "You need to go back over there and get that papaya! I want the papaya!" So, I calmly explain that yelling and complaining about something does not get you what you want, so next time we come I will be happy to buy it if I am asked nicely. This prompts a lot of whining while hanging on the cart. I grab the last item and head for the checkout where we have one last mini-fit before heading out the door.
Now, we go to drop off the cart, and Sebastian decides to step it up a notch by announcing in front of everyone entering the store, "Now I've really decided I don't want to be your child anymore!"
Thank God I've got a sense of humor. And considering his plans dovetailed nicely with my own, I offered to drop him off at the orphanage. No dice.
Much screaming ensued later when he found out that Dorian would be enjoying the entire bagel and not have to share it. I was told that "when I have a fit, you will know what I want and give it to me right away!" Funny, that's not the way it ever works around here.
I called and asked my supervisor for a raise. It better be a good one.
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5 comments:
looks like Daddy could be primed for a rise in the opinion polls. i fully expect the attack ads to begin:
"[dark, vaguely menacing voice] Mommy claims that her punishments are always meted our fairly and with due consideration. so why won't she come clean about Papaya-gate?"
"[sunny, friendly woman's voice] Daddy would never withhold dried fruit, or threaten his children with abandonment. in fact, Daddy has spoken out against the use torture in child rearing."
"[dark voice] Mommy voted 5 times to approve torture in direct violation of the Geneva Convention on Parenting"
"[sunny voice] isn't it time for a new era of child oversight? isn't it time....for Daddy?"
"[small print] paid for by the Friends and Relatives of Daddy"
"I'm Daddy, and I approved this message!"
/overactive imagination
First, you might want to channel some of this talent into updating your own blog.
Second, I am not the one who has threatened to tie the children's legs to a chair, so Daddy has some harder campaigning to do than he may think. And that trip to the ophanage was an offer, not a threat.
This is the kind of spineless back peddling we've come to expect from mama. If she can't threaten the children with abandonment and stick by her initial statement then she's a waffler like the rest and the choice just became a little clearer. I am not an advocate of torture as parenting device and the "tying their legs to a chair" incident was merely a suggestion of a way to keep the little one's feet from constantly kicking the table and chair, slowly making daddy lose his mind and I think we can all get behind that issue, can't we?
Daddy needs to learn to read for comprehension. The entry reads, "And considering his plans dovetailed nicely with my own, I OFFERED to drop him off at the orphanage." He declined the offer. Which is good because I have no idea where the nearest orphanage is. And because I love him.
I think that you can drop kids of at KidsPlayce and they make the arrangements and find new homes for the unwanted.
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