there'll be days like this

the children are short, the days are long

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Nature vs. nurture

I recently received a photo Christmas card with newsletter from the first family I worked for. I started watching their children when they were 5, 3, and 9 months old. The oldest is now a senior in high school, the youngest is 13. I will admit this really makes me feel my age, knowing I had a hand in raising children who are this old.
But what really gets me is how absolutely nothing I ever read in these updates is any surprise to me. Nick is still a serious musician. Ben is still a goofy jock. And Molly straddles those two personalities.
Which leads me to the conclusion that I already know exactly who my children are. There will probably be events in their lives that shape their world views, but at their core they already are who they are going to be. This is not to say that I am going to just throw up my hands and start slacking in the parenting department. I do think I can influence things like manners.
But I wouldn't want to change their personalities anyway. Sebastian will probably always be independent, fiercely protective of justice and musical. And Dorian will probably always be a sweet, mischievous, goofball. It will just be our challenge to make those attributes work in a positive way in the world.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

DeeDee just needs to smile and the world's a little sweeter! Or say "hello Manna" like it just made his day to see me! Which I think he does to everyone, which is my point...

Anonymous said...

Daniel Clowes has some thoughts on this matter in his recent article in the Onion. Check it out:
http://www.avclub.com/content/interview/daniel_clowes