there'll be days like this

the children are short, the days are long

Monday, March 31, 2008

Parenting is all about being taken down a peg

It's embarrassing how many times I have congratulated myself for having a child who would never do something so ridiculous as cut his own hair.

No, he just cuts his little brother's.

Don't worry, it was only one snip and it isn't noticeable amongst all the wisps and cowlicks.

The Savages (but not the ones I'm related to)

Christine and I went to see The Savages yesterday. I'm not going to call it "The Crapages" since that doesn't sound good and it wouldn't really be true.

I still haven't decided what I really think of the film. I enjoyed it fine at the time, and Christine and I had a few chuckles (not just because of all the Butterfingers either). I just thought the timeline of the film was really unrealistic. Some of it felt really forced. I love Laura Linney and I love Philip Seymour Hoffman, and I think they did their best, but I didn't love the movie.

Out like a lamb

I always thought that the expression about March coming in like a lion and going out like a lamb involved the behaviors of those animals.

You'll be interested to know I have discovered that, in fact, it refers to their appearances, as it snowed again today.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Pirates of the Crapibbean

Once upon a time, all my reviews of movies that I didn't think were wonderful had the word "crap" inserted into them. I'm so clever.

Last night, Jeremy and I watched the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie. If I were talking only about the first 45 minutes, the word "crap" would not have been mentioned. But, alas, we did watch the other hour and a half and therefore, "Crapibbean" it is. I genuinely enjoyed the beginning. I thought Johnny Depp was funny. Then it turned into what seemed to be one epic fight scene, sometimes with skeleton pirates, sometimes with sloppily fleshy ones. Either way it was boring, and I was not impressed with Keira Knightley or Orlando Bloom.

I'd give this one 2 eyepatches.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Lower expectations=better experiences

8 hours after we left for the birthday party today, we finally made it home. And I have to say, it was a nice party. I have no need ever to return to the overpriced Build a Bear workshop, but Sebastian had a wonderful time and it was a very well organized establishment. While all the other kids were staring in that inimitably childlike way that somehow encompasses fear, confusion and longing, Sebastian was participating his little heart out. A dance party? Sure, he'll jump around. Ask the kids if they're ready to be loud? The other ones nod their heads while my boy shouts, "YEAHHHH!!!!" When paired up with a child he'd never met he hugged her and said, "Thank you for being my partner for the Fluffing Station, Natalie." He was in heaven.

When it was time to leave, the workers put the kids' bears in their little boxes and put their name tags on the box. It was only then that Sebastian realized he would get to take the bear he'd named "Mary" home. He was so excited. I think he thought that he was just helping these people do their jobs or something. It was very sweet.


And I definitely think that when I thought I was "just a dummy who didn't think things through" that I was correct. I wasn't thinking about all the other parents who would also need to eat at Friendly's. So I ended up eating with the 2 moms I like best of that group, and one other woman I'd never met.

It all took way longer than anticipated, so that by the time we finished with the party and made a quick stop at Forever 21 (2 t shirts, 1 sundress and a necklace for $28), it was already 2:30. Jeremy thought we were coming home at 3. The mall is an hour away and we hadn't yet gone to Trader Joe's. We could not go home without pickles. Then we hit a traffic disaster which made the 10 minute trip to TJ's take an hour. We got home at 5.

It was totally worth going. Some days I can be so frustrated with Sebastian's behavior. Today, he was so happy and so polite and so well behaved that my faith in him was renewed. He was the life of the party and everyone was as happy to have him there as he was to be there.

Friday, March 28, 2008

The Littlest Sweatshop

I had to put the bigger of the little ones to work today making a present for his "friend" whose party we are attending tomorrow. Prepare for a rant.

This party is at the mall which is about 50 minutes away in the next state. The party involves the children each building a bear and picking out one accessory for it, while the birthday girl gets to make whatever she wants. Fine, it's her birthday, and Sebastian is not going to care, but I'm preparing to listen to some kid caterwauling over the injustice of it all. (For the record, I would be totally okay with her being the only one to get a bear. We need another stuffed animal like we need another scraped up face.) Then, we will be going to Friendly's for lunch where Sebastian's lunch will be paid for but mine won't. This presents the dilemma of whether I then have to eat at Friendly's or can I go have something else, but then I would have to leave them in charge of my child. All this headache for a child Sebastian plays with a total of 5 minutes per week. I don't think the mother likes me much; we have practically nothing in common. I don't entirely get why we were invited in the first place.

But what I really don't understand is: Why did I agree to go? I could have said no. This probably is not worth the opportunity to go to Forever 21. Is it because I didn't want to disappoint the birthday girl? Or is it because I allow myself to feel guilty that Sebastian isn't at school with a bunch of kids his age? Or is it that I'm just a dummy who didn't think things through before answering?

At least I can do our shopping at Trader Joe's on the way home. Jeremy needs more pickles.

We saw the house

The kids and I went yesterday to see the house. If you click on that link, you can go look at it yourself and then what I say will make a little more sense.

First of all, the agent reeked of desperation, so we probably could get them to significantly lower their price. But would I want them to? I just don't know.

I didn't love it. And I did a million mental gymnastics yesterday trying to determine just how we could arrange our belongings to make it work. None of those amounted to anything I could be very excited about.

Basically, the house went like this: Walk in the front door which deposits you in the kitchen. The picture of the wood stove is what is to your left as you enter, and the kitchen picture is directly in front of you. If you have seen our current kitchen, it is about that size. But with the wood stove there, I couldn't figure out where the table could go. To the left is the larger bedroom (about the size of the boys' current room) with a large cedar lined closet. It also has a door to the back deck, so it would not be usable as the boys' room, and we find it easier to give them the big room so they have space for the toys. To the right of the kitchen is the living room with doors off of that to the smaller bedroom, the bathroom and the basement. The bathroom is small but in good shape. The smaller bedroom has a walk-in closet/dressing room which could potentially hold the drum set. The living room is about the size of our current one. In general, it's about the same amount of space we now have, except instead of the room with the bookshelves in it, we would have 2 large closets.

In order to have the work space I want to have, ie. a large table for doing projects, a place for my sewing machine, etc., we would have to make the living room the workspace. Then we'd take the large bedroom for ourselves, but also have the couch and TV in there. Give the boys the smaller room, and get bunk beds (but a 3 year old kid in town died by hanging from a bunk bed recently).

And then there's the basement. It was wet. Puddles all over the floor. This is not the end of the world, but it would mean that the drums couldn't go down there and that there is the potential for a mold problem. So that's no good.

On the other hand, the yard is near perfect and even has a little stream. The boys would love it there. And the drive is fine; it's only 10 minutes to the highway/town.

But I did see that big old St. Bernard-esque dog wandering around again, and that would drive me nuts.

The best I can say is: We'll keep it in mind.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

I may have an ulcer before I have a house

Thank you all for your support. I'm glad you have more faith in our home buying abilities than I do. But I have the intimate knowledge of our checkbook that you don't, which is where I get stuck.

If I were able to convince the sellers to lower their price, it would still be at the upper limit of what we could afford. And by afford, I mean that it would leave us with only $100 a month in savings which probably isn't enough. And in order to get the house for that price the sellers would have to agree to our getting a VHFA loan, which would require them to cover the closing. So, not only would they have lost $30,000 on the sale, but then even more money for closing. This seems unlikely. Maybe not, since it has been unoccupied for 7 months.

And here comes the crazy mother concern: The drive to the house is very winding, and a couple of years ago a 16 year old girl died in a car crash on that road. One day I, too, will have 16 year olds and I know that they can crash anywhere given the opportunity (like a Taco Bell drive-thru), but this road is a proven 16 year old killer.

And there was a big dog that mysteriously appeared on the property just as we were leaving. I wasn't sure what to make of that. But it's possible that the dog would be a continual problem. And it's no secret that I am not a dog person.

I think I would still like to see the inside, if for no other reason than to get an idea of what's out there. But there will be other houses. I am trying hard to not be completely ridiculous about one house. This was the first house I could actually see myself living in. But it won't be the only one.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

The house hunt

I've been obsessing about moving. We have never lived anywhere as long as we have lived in this apartment. 3 and 2/3 years and an extra kid later, I am ready to get out.

Unfortunately, being the end of winter/mud season, there isn't a lot on the market. And I've entered into this bad habit of compulsively looking at what is available and fantasizing about how it would be to live there, only to have my hopes dashed when I do a drive-by.

Sample reactions:

"Oh! This house was built for midgets!"

"Oh... That's what they mean by '2 miles up Putney Mountain Road'." (This house also apparently has a brook running through it instead of next to it. No thanks.)

"The taxes are what?!"

"How nice. The neighbors have a dead car collection."

So imagine my surprise when my expectations were actually met, if not exceeded today when I drove out to look at what used to be a one room schoolhouse. (This would make my homeschooling so much more legitimate, don't you think?) It even had a clothesline already installed! (I really don't ask for much.) There was a nice little deck on the back with built in benches and table. Sebastian actually gave it his approval. It seemed like a much more realistic fantasy than the others had been.

Except that I think we'd have to convince them to take $20,000 off their asking price. Which may be a little unrealistic. Especially considering they just lowered it by $10,000.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

It's tough being 5

Poor Sebastian. He's been having quite a week.

Remember the knight costume he bought on Friday? Well, shortly after I posted about our trip to the toy store, the boy lost his mind. He was totally crazed and angry and crying. Then, from half a room away, I realized I could smell the fumes coming from that plastic armor. It was awful! The boy was high as a kite in the worst way. So now we have to go back out to Keene today to exchange it for the fabric one I wanted him to get in the first place. This is very disappointing for him, but I said he could get the individually packaged plastic sword if he'd like to go with his tunic.

Then, yesterday after dinner, Daddy took the boys for a walk around the neighborhood. We still have a lot of "snow" which is now really just granulated ice. It looks and feels like rock salt, but melts in your hand. Sebastian was apparently sliding down a huge pile of the stuff on his butt and Jeremy told him to go one more time and then they had to leave. He decided to go down on his belly, but went so fast that his feet went over his head and he tumbled onto his face with this as the result:
Lots of little scrapes all over his sweet face. He was very brave about having it cleaned and having antibiotic ointment applied. But it's still no fun.

Monday, March 24, 2008

One of those mornings

It has been one of those mornings: you know, the ones where my brain is not functioning at optimum speeds. Jeremy and I were up a little late last night, and Dorian was up a little early, and, well, you do the math.

When I went to the grocery store on Saturday, I forgot to buy diapers (this is not the time to point out to me that my brain was not working then either) so I needed to go this morning. This gave me an excuse to not walk to Open Gym in 20 degree weather when I have not entirely recovered from my cold. I get the kids ready and we go to the store for diapers and 50% off Cadbury cream eggs since the Easter bunny lied to me this year. I got the two things I went in there for, and nothing more.

We arrive at Open Gym, the kids play, everything is hunky-dory, there are about 10 minutes to go. Then, another mother approaches me to let me know that it is my darling boy who is polluting the place with his stink.

I had just purchased a package of 52 diapers. How many did I have with me? Zero. They were all happily hermetically sealed in the car a block away.

Well, I reasoned, he hasn't sat down yet... how bad can it be? I'll just flush away the offending bit, and replace the diaper properly when I get home. Everything will be fine, just fine. Ha! Of course it was a totally unmanageable mess.

Dorian ended up going "Hollywood" for the trip home. Somehow, I just didn't think that the size 4 diaper I was offered for his size 6 butt was going to work. Thanks anyway, Amanda.

Luckily, we all arrived home dry and fine. And I had my Cadbury cream egg to console me.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Happy Easter!

As promised, here are the eggs. 45 minutes of soaking in natural dye obviously does not do as much as 3 minutes in artificial coloring, but who cares? I think they're pretty all the same. The pink ones are from the beet juice, the blue from the cabbage water.

Bright and Shiny

Guess what we watched last night? Bubble Boy. Yes, that Bubble Boy, the 2001 movie starring Jake Gyllenhaal.

Dustin and Cortney recommended this to us on more than one occasion, but let's just say that we don't always agree when it comes to comedy. Well, Dustin, you will be so pleased to hear that we enjoyed the movie very much. Had you been here to check my reaction every three seconds, you would have seen me laughing. It was way funnier than we imagined it would be. I will admit to not having my eyes on the screen the entire time as I was trying to finish the kids' Easter present (see next post), but that doesn't mean anything.

There are a lot of similarities between this film and Pee Wee's Big Adventure-- so many in fact, that it can't be coincidence. So, if you love Pee Wee/over the top road trip adventure movies/Jake Gyllenhaal/boys in bubbles, this is the film for you.

Easter prep

We will be trying a new method of egg dyeing this year. Remember those beets I cried about the other day when I was sick? Well, I soaked the peelings in some water to get the pinky red dye in the top container. The really dark purple in the bottom container is from some boiled red cabbage (which is far too smelly to be eaten). From what I hear, the beet juice should make pink and the cabbage will make a robin's egg blue. I will update later when the dyeing is complete.
This is the present I knit for the kids. A sleepy turquoise blue bunny. Perhaps this will alleviate some of the fighting over Sheena. I still have a huge bag of stuffing left over, but I think this will be it for stuffed creatures for now. I do have that blanket to work on after all.



Friday, March 21, 2008

Chore chart complete!

The kids finally finished their chore chart yesterday. Basically, I just cover a paper in a grid and they get to put one sticker in each box when they finish a chore. This is more complicated than it sounds because sometimes they forget to add a sticker, sometimes they decide to fill a box with stickers, or sometimes one sticker is so large it covers multiple boxes.

In the end, though, they get to pick out a special something of their choice as a reward for all their hard work. No, this isn't bribery. (At least not anymore than chocolate is for me.)

Today, we drove out to Keene so I could hit the yarn store to feed the never ending blanket project and so Sebastian and Dorian could go to the toy store of their choice. I told them they could each spend $15 of my money, but anything extra came from their wallets. Sebastian had big plans to get a princess dress up costume and Dorian had his usual plan: "I-on't know." Well, the only princess costume was a very fancy $48 number. Even if he used every penny to his name he would have been $2 short. And, no, I was not willing to spot him the $2.

We continued to look around, and Sebastian found a "Dragon Warrior" knight costume complete with sword and knife. I just couldn't allow it. I knew that I said that he could choose, and that I was being a total hypocrite as usual. He pleaded. He begged. He promised no one would be hurt. We compromised on a different knight ensemble, which only had a sword, but also boasted a sheath and the sword itself was not a thin, shiny weapon. He rounded out the costume with a pirate's eye patch and earring. $15 well spent.

Dorian, on the other hand, settled on a toy hamburger set, moved on to a refrigerator marble run, and twirled around a few times before deciding what he really needed was a train. A Thomas the Tank Engine train, specifically. The one little 3 inch train he chose cost $16. I had had enough of the toy store at that point, and he seemed terribly attached to it, but come on! $16? For one train?

Thursday, March 20, 2008

I was struck down

Yes, struck down by a cold yesterday. The kids were snotty and had sore throats, so why I thought I could avoid it is beyond me. I was going along fine until about 2pm when I felt the need to lie down on my bed and read.

The next thing I knew, I was asleep.

I do not advise taking a nap while your two small children have free reign of the house. This is where you think I will insert a "funny" anecdote about how I woke up to discover (the kitchen covered in flour/my face covered in marker/shit smeared on the walls). Thankfully, none of that happened. No, I don't advise the napping simply because it does not even approach restful. Your ears are still open, straining to hear (chairs scraping the floor to reach high cabinets/art supplies being uncapped/grunting). Your eyes snap open every 4 minutes to check the clock and see if dinner needs to be started.

I was decidedly not refreshed when I dragged myself out of bed 45 minutes later to chop beets for dinner. This prompted a brief breakdown at said dinner because I didn't want to eat that; I wanted some sort of brothy Asian noodles. A long bath, chocolate milkshake and reasonable bedtime later, all I needed was to gargle with a little salt water and I am on the road to recovery.

That road will be leading me to Panda North today for lunch.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Jump and not climb

One of the hardest things for me as a parent is dealing with other parents. This foray into the world of ridiculously expensive children's gymnastics classes has only reinforced this for me.

The first week, we arrived and there were 6 kids in the class. There were 3 classes being held simultaneously, and yet I recognized no one. We're out and about quite a bit, and it isn't a very large town, but I had never seen any of these people before. It was tough killing an hour without someone to chat with, but I did have a two year old to wrangle after all.

The second week, 2 more kids joined the class, one of whom was being very physically aggressive with Sebastian. From what I saw, she didn't get out of the way in time when he was swinging on the rope. He bumped her, and she decided that justified hitting him 3 or 4 times. The last time, Sebastian was walking by, not looking in her direction at all when she took a swing. I was downstairs watching through the glass doors, while the other mother was upstairs on the observation deck, obviously shouting down to her kid, but I couldn't hear what she was saying. As we were leaving, I saw her practically wrestling her child into submission. Sebastian was upset about being attacked, but promptly forgot about it.

Yesterday, we arrive for the third class with only 3 minutes to spare for Sebastian to take off his street clothes and get in line. I was already concerned about what was going to happen with this girl, when the mother approaches Sebastian and I learn
  1. that this is not a girl at all, but a boy with long hair in a pretty ponytail.
  2. that his name is one that sounds like it is from outer space, but is probably biblical in origin.
  3. that they expect an apology from Sebastian for last week's altercation.

I was completely blindsided by this. Not only did they expect an apology from Sebastian, but they were not offering one in return. By the time I overcame my shock, the kids were in class and the mother was talking to someone else. I had Dorian in the stroller and took him outside for a walk. With every step, I became more frustrated and more annoyed. My child accidentally hurts yours, yours purposefully beats mine, but mine is the only one who needs to apologize? I don't think so.

I could have just stewed in my own juices. I am very good at that tactic. But that wasn't going to solve anything, and I had a feeling that she was one of those moms who has a crazy aggressive kid but always blames things on the child getting the beat down.

As I returned to the building, she was walking toward her car with her older child in tow. So, I, as tactfully as I could, confronted her about what happened. She felt the need to tell me 3 times that her son had a scratch on his face all week. I told her that if that was Sebastian's fault, that I was sorry, but that the repeated blows from her child certainly merited an apology to my child. That, of course, never came. I will say that I did not see any more aggression directed at my child, but I did see it happen with another kid.

As we were driving home after class, I realized that she was driving the car in front of me. On it were plastered 3 bumper stickers with slogans about peace.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Animals should NOT wear clothing

One of the more popular Google searches people use that lands them at this blog is "marmoset diaper." Either there are several people in San Antonio searching for butt covers for their monkeys or one person is especially fond of finding my site this way. In any case, Jeremy and I decided to do this search ourselves. Was it possible that my blog topped the list of marmoset diapering sites? No, in fact, it wasn't.

Instead, we found this site chock full of all the clothes, diapers and accessories you could ever want if you were in the possession of a monkey-- or a baby with a tail. I highly recommend visiting her photo gallery. You could use a good chuckle, I can just tell.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Those little pips

That Sheena has been causing some trouble with the boys. They fight over her every 20 minutes or so. Sebastian informed me I should have made 2 Sheenas so they could each have one. I told him there was only one so this was a good chance to work on his sharing skills. "That's not 'skills', Mom. They don't make a workbook for that."

We headed out for Open Gym, not realizing that despite the sunny blue sky, it was actually below freezing with a bitter wind blowing. I muttered something about wanting a coffee, but didn't get one. On the way home, Sebastian kept begging to go to Mocha Joe's and has now asked approximately 6 times when I'm going to put a pot of coffee on for him. Um, never?

Sunday, March 16, 2008

I'm going to go ahead and pat myself on the back now

As soon as I finished typing the last post, I decided to give the doll head a try. Next thing I knew, I was sewing on a face and putting on the hair. So at 4:22 this afternoon, Sheena was officially born. Dorian is in love with her, so I guess we'll be keeping her.

I'm quite pleased with how she turned out, especially because I did this entirely without a pattern, just my own ingenuity. And I didn't even have to rip any of it out to start over. She just naturally progressed from yarn to doll.


She's just about the coziest punk rocker you'll ever meet. She's made of 100% wool/mohair with a polyester fiberfill. Hug her for a little bit and she warms right up.

A special friend for a special boy. I wonder... if Sheena needs a nap, will Dorian join her?

Project update

There is a certain reader of my blog (she knows who she is) who is on my case about everything I am working on. Hopefully, this will satisfy her for a little while. There's only so much time in a day and with that little cutie on the left not napping, I have even less time to devote to my crafts. Well, yesterday I went and got the stuffing I needed to work on the doll. I felt terrible that I had to go to evil Wal Mart to get it, but there isn't anywhere else in town that carries it. Driving a half hour to JoAnn Fabrics really didn't seem any better, so I just had to suck it up and go. That was all I bought, though, so it's not so bad.
Last night we watched Raising Victor Vargas which Dorian picked out for me at the video store, and I finished the arms of the doll and stuffed it. Now I just have the head to do. We enjoyed the film, and it definitely wasn't one that I felt I had to actually see every moment of, so it was conducive to knitting.

I have also been working on this honeycomb stitched charcoal part of the third panel of the giant blanket. I had to rip out, or tink (knit spelled backwards-- clever, huh?), the last row two times because it kept coming out one stitch off. I was getting pretty pissed because I couldn't figure out the problem. Then I counted the stitches and there was one missing. I dropped a stitch about 4 rows back. This is not like me at all. Usually I can't figure out how this happens to people. Well, I still can't figure out how it happened to me, but it is fixed now, so I'm not going to fret about it.

Lastly, here's a couple of food ideas for you to consider. Lately when I make chili, I have been adding one diced sweet potato. It is super delicious and really boosts the nutritional value even more. I also had been looking for a non-Asian tofu recipe, and I found one in EatingWell magazine this month for tofu parmesan. We absolutely loved it. Jeremy said, "It's just like veal parmesan without the stink of, you know, baby cows." If that isn't a recommendation, I don't know what is.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

"We may have the lamest dates ever."

So says my fabulous husband after yet another of our aimless excursions sans children.

We have a long history of ridiculous "dates" which is topped by our silliest ever, dubbed "The Teenage Date." Our adolescent adventure was not supposed to be that way. We were on our first overnight away from Sebastian when he was 18 months old. We decided to stay about an hour away at an inn with a hot tub (woo hoo!). The inn was in a college town, so we thought there would be plenty to do and see, but of course we were not really prepared. We decided to drive down to the next town to find a nice restaurant for dinner. On the way, we spotted a mini-golf establishment which Jeremy could not pass up. Thus, the date began. One round of golf on a horrible course later we were on our way, where else?, to the mall! Yes, we found out the mall was just down the road, and considering we hadn't gone to a mall in about 3 years at this point, we just had to go. That went as well as you may imagine. Nary a purchase was made, and after passing the food court, we became simultaneously hungry and nauseated. It was getting dark, and we spotted a movie theater showing Mean Girls, found out what time it was playing and went in search of a restaurant. What we found was the creepiest, ex-factory town nightmare with no restaurants in sight. (Not that we probably would have trusted any place operating there anyway.) Now we're running out of time before the film and getting a little desperate. So, where did we have dinner? At Burger King, of course. After the film, we went back to the inn, precariously perched the television on the edge of the bureau and watched SNL from the jacuzzi tub. Not exactly the romantic get away we had planned.

Yesterday, we had a similar experience. Only this time, there wasn't a film we wanted to see. For whatever reason, we weren't really interested in watching an Afghan boy be raped. So, we went downtown where nothing seemed appealing, got in the car and headed to the Thai restaurant at the corner of the Price Chopper plaza and the Walgreen's. I know that doesn't bode well, but the food was really good and we had a nice, uninterrupted conversation. Now it was about 8:30 and we didn't know what to do with ourselves, but it would have been shameful to go home. We tried to go out for a drink, but there wasn't anywhere quiet enough for picky old me, and we were really full from dinner still anyway. So my big idea was to go get a slushee drink. We went to investigate the new convenience store just outside of town where I got a blue raspberry/green apple mix. I don't know what I was thinking. All I could taste was chemicals. Damn you, natural lifestyle! Meanwhile, the clerk was totally giving me the eye, so maybe I should find out what kind of date he would plan. We were home by 10:15.

Will we ever get it together?

Friday, March 14, 2008

Ridiculous rationalizations to make me feel better that Jeremy is going to Costa Rica and I'm not

    I get to be a single mom for the week again at the beginning of April. Lucky me, right? Damn straight, because...
  1. I won't be woken up by real monkeys, just children who act like them.
  2. I won't have to avoid whatever that evil bug is that burrows into your lip.
  3. I won't spend 2 days on planes and in airports surrounded by people crankier than myself.
  4. I won't have to either leave my children behind and worry about being thousands of miles away from them or take them thousands of miles away where they could potentially spoil my enjoyment of the trip.
  5. I can make excuses to have take-out instead of cooking.
  6. I can use this trip as leverage later if I need to cut out for a couple of days myself.
  7. I don't have to sign a waiver that says if I am eaten by a tiger, I have no one to blame but myself. Which would be true, since I try so hard to be delicious.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Cutie cutie stuff

My package from ShopKawaii.com* came yesterday. Now I am fully stocked with cutie stationery and my wonderful new mug. Jeremy cracked both of my favorite cappuccino mugs and now that cappuccinos are no longer in fashion, I was having a terrible time trying to replace them. I have been using the teacup seen on the far right with the blue swirls. It was fine, but when I saw this mug, I just had to have it. It reads, "A delightful day. My mind is paralyzed." If you get half as much enjoyment from that statement as I do, your day is looking brighter already. This is a part of the Dreamy Friends series, but you can also find other characters, such as the Poop Friends.
If anyone wants a letter from yours truly on paper which may or may not contain the phrase "we present you small happiness", just let me know.
*Special thanks to Sujan who told Jeremy about this site.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Productive morning


Before we headed off to KidsPlayce today, I took a little inspiration from SouleMama and made some blank books for the kids to write in. I used up a few of the leftover wedding invitations and reply cards as the covers and then glued on some paper from various projects to cover up the words embossed on the front. I cut some white paper to size, folded it all and stapled the fold. Ta da! I can't wait to see what they write about. Sebastian's last book, My Little Book of Animusic, featured an "about the author" which said he had "illustrated many Emmy award winning books."
Sebastian and I also did a Cardio workout DVD. He chose the "I'm up for a challenge" option instead of "ease me into it" and then couldn't finish. But I did. In your face, 5 year old! I can still bring it!
Then, I finally got in some knitting while the kids played. I'm working on a charcoal gray panel of the big blanket and working it in a honeycomb stitch. It looks good so far, but wasn't really worth photographing.
Now, I just have to do a magnet experiment with the kids and make dinner so I can collapse on the couch. ANTM tonight! Who's your favorite so far? I'm a fan of Claire.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

California homeschool controversy

Recently I was asked in a comment on "I did it!" about my opinion on the ruling in California regarding homeschooling. You can read about it here or here. This mess has been overtaking all other discussions on my VT homeschooling yahoo groups. I really am not sure what to think about this ruling. I don't think a parent should need a teaching credential to homeschool. And I don't understand how, if there is no law about homeschooling in CA, the court can arbitrarily decide what qualifications there should be. State laws vary so widely regarding requirements for notification and I am of two minds on the topic.

On the one hand, I don't really want the government hovering over my shoulder with everything I do in the privacy of my home. I also don't appreciate the implication that I am not capable of teaching my child basic math, reading and life skills without teacher certification. In Vermont, I am required (once my child is of 1st grade age) to notify the Dept. of Ed. of my intent to homeschool. This will involve filling out some forms including a course of study outlining our plans for the year. Then at the end of the year, I have the option of having a teacher evaluate the work and write a report, sending in a portfolio of representative work, or subjecting my child to a standardized test. If we do this successfully for 2 consecutive years, we will be considered a successful homeschool and will just have to notify them of our intent and not have to justify every year. These requirements are among the strictest in the nation and they upset some of the homeschooling population of our state greatly.

On the other hand, these rules don't upset me that much. I think it is interesting that my child would have to pass a standardized test to be considered successful, but children fail those tests all the time in public school and are advanced to the next level. Otherwise, I think that in order to protect children, the state needs to have some oversight. There are places like CT and DC where you don't have to register at all. The trouble with this is that there are a very few parents who pull their children out of school or never enroll them to avoid the prying eyes of mandatory reporters and those children go unprotected from abuse. Not to mention the fact that some people may be incapable of teaching their children basic skills. It certainly doesn't help that California family's case that the father used the word "ain't" in his statement to the press.

So, Dave's comment back to my original reply (a much shorter version of the above) was this:

But isn't it possible that a great many parents may, in fact, be unable to teach kids basic math and reading skills? Can we, as society, bear the risks of those kids not being properly educated? And what about the signals that a contrary ruling would send to elementary school teachers? That their skills and talents are negligible because any parent can do what they do?

Yes, Dave, not only do I think it's possible, I think it is probable that there are many homeschooling parents who are unable to provide their kids with a basic education. More than math and reading, I fear for the "science" being taught to some Christian homeschoolers which focuses on creationism as scientific fact and does not mention evolution or the "Big Bang" theory at all and presents fossils as trickery planted by the devil. I can't imagine what this will mean for our country's future. We fare poorly enough compared to other countries as it is. I honestly believe, though, that the vast majority of homeschooling parents are very capable people who have their children's best interests at heart. And most of them do use packaged curricula, especially for math.

As far as the teachers go, I would hope their skins are not so thin. It does not in any way make their skills and talents negligible to say that I don't need certification to teach my 2 children. They are being expected to teach anywhere from 10 to 35 kids at once to whom they are not related and of whom they don't have the knowledge that a parent does. It is entirely different. Knowing my children as I do, I will have a better idea from the start how to present a topic for the best chance of comprehension, where a teacher would have to spend a portion of the year just figuring out how each child learns.

Basically, I think that it is the state's responsibility to educate our children in the event we can't or don't want to do it ourselves. It is in everyone's best interest to have a well-educated populace. Whether a child learns in a public, private or homeschool, the important thing is that he learns. But if a private school need not require a teacher to be certified, why must a parent be?

Conversation with a 5 year old

5: "Boy, I'd love to be rich."

31: "Why's that?"

5: "I'd like to be able to buy high cost items."

31 (trying to hide smirk about the term 'high cost items'): "What's a high cost item?"

5: "You know, things that have tags like $250."

31: "Like what?"

5: "A banjo."

At this point I found it necessary to confuse him about his personal wealth by telling him that he has $250, he just isn't allowed to buy a banjo right now. Lord only knows how much money he thinks he has.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Readin'


I've managed to do a fair amount of reading recently. After an aborted attempt to read Reading Lolita in Tehran due to style issues, I started Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld. I was all prepared for a light read, but I was also prepared to be annoyed that a book about a teenage girl was being written by a man. But she's not a man, so it was fine.
The novel covers the entire boarding school career of Lee Fiona, a scholarship student from the Midwest trying to make her way with a bunch of East Coast uppity-ups.
This book was the embodiment of adolescence. Not only do I think she captured the feelings and reactions of your average teenager, but the entire book felt like I remember feeling. There was that atmosphere of nothing really happening in the grand scheme of the world, but everything was hyper important and required continual analysis. What did it mean that he leaned against her in the car?
At any rate, I was totally engrossed and didn't want to put the book down and spent lots of time trying to ignore the children so I could finish. I'm not claiming this will end up a classic work of literature, but it is an enjoyable read.

Right now, I'm reading My Family and Other Animals by Gerald Durrell. It is his memoir of going with his family to live on the island of Corfu at age ten. I'm only 2 chapters in, but so far it is hilarious.
I'm also several chapters into Home Grown Kids by Raymond and Dorothy Moore. They propose that children shouldn't go to school unless it is absolutely necessary until they are 8 to 10 years old. They believe, based on research, that children need those early years at home to solidify their values before being with their age mates all day. Even though there is a fair amount of Christian talk about what "the Creator says," there is also a lot that I agree with. They are pro natural birth and breastfeeding, and for making children part of the household through doing chores and helping out, and for giving children alone time to engage in figuring things out for themselves and in fantasy play.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

I did it!


I mean, we did it. Jeremy helped, and we reclaimed two shelves for the kids' art supplies and workbooks. It finally seems almost reasonable over in that corner of our little world. Now the workbooks aren't toppling over, the art supplies aren't precariously perched in front of the books on the shelf, and the construction and white paper isn't mixed in with the bills to be filed on the filing cabinet. What we were doing for 3.5 years?
See those white papers on the right? Those are leftover wedding invitations. From almost 8 years ago. Why?! What are we doing with ourselves that we still have 20 envelopes in 2 different sizes embossed with a Baltimore address? Well, no longer. They are officially recycled.
Now, it's on to the other part of my plan that I forgot to mention in the last post. I am planning to have 5 activities ready to go for the week. I will post a list on the fridge for the kids and everyday they can choose one of those activities for us to do. This gives Sebastian some of the control he requires, but ensures that I can get in a variety of learning experiences. Lesson plans, here I come!

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Cleaning up my act

I've realized over the last week that it is time yet again to shift my thinking regarding homeschooling and just plain old parenting. Those end of winter blues sent me spiraling into the cycle of yelling to get things done, upsetting the kids so they won't do anything, yelling some more because they still didn't do it. This, my friends, does not work. Not only can I not catch flies with my vinegar, I also cannot get the puzzle pieces cleaned up off the damn floor.

Part of the problem is Dorian's refusal to nap certain unexpected days. This throws me way off because our general schedule is to go out for the morning, come home for lunch, Dorian naps, and during that time Sebastian and I have quiet alone time, reading or knitting or using the computer. Dorian has zero concept of "quiet time" so if he isn't napping, he's still throwing things, hitting people with drumsticks, spilling colored pencils on the floor, etc.

The other part of the problem is my laziness. After corralling them in public all morning, I just want to ignore the little stinkers for an hour or two and have some time for myself. But as Dorian told me the other day, "You're not a person, you're Mama." Which, for better or worse, is true. I am Mama. Mama does not get a lunch break. Or a 401(k). Or business trips to Costa Rica. Due to Sebastian's balking at any type of "school at home" schedule, we have just been doing things when we feel like it, or if we think of it, or when I'm desperate.

I think this needs to change. We need to shake up our lives a little bit. I have embarked on a new plan that I hope will help. I know that I allow myself to get so focused on the fact that Dorian isn't napping and my annoyance therewith that I'm not doing anything positive to make the time better. So here's what's going to happen:
  • We are still not going to use a specific curriculum, but I did order some books from the "Core Knowledge" series to get some ideas for topics to explore. These books come with the title What Your __ Grader Needs to Know. I ordered the 1st and 2nd grade ones even though Sebastian thinks he's in 3rd grade now. Maybe he is. What do I know? If these are too easy, we'll buy 3rd grade, too. Dorian will need to do 1st grade someday and we can always use them for him. You know, next month.
  • I'm going to reread sections of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk every two months or so to reinforce the positive parenting skills I have learned so I stop resorting to using the "Cranky Mommy" style that comes so naturally to me.
  • I'm going to finally tackle what the kids call the "Wood Room"-- the room in our apartment with the linoleum floor that looks like wood and all the bookcases. It's time to pack up all the books relating to sex and drugs (but not the rock n roll ones). I'm going to set up that area better so we can actually find and use all the great resources we already own but are currently heaped up into piles that threaten to spill if you walk past them too fast. With all the running that happens in this house, it's a real issue.

Overall, we need to stop the end of winter, boredom induced craziness. This better work. If it doesn't, I'm not going to make it through Jeremy's April trip to Costa Rica alive.

Friday, March 7, 2008

I'm not as smart as I pretend to be

It took me a couple of days to realize that the young men living next door were not, in fact, interested in a race for Lt. Governor that is not currently being run.


Thursday, March 6, 2008

Oh, Lolita, there's no one sweet-a

A while back, I read about a recall of beds called the "Lolita" marketed to young girls. The people in the company claimed never to have heard of, much less read Nabokov's Lolita, which happens to be one of my favorite books. This seemed absurd to me at the time, that not one person noticed that this just might be an inappropriate name for an 8 year old girl's bed. I'm guessing someone did and thought it was hilarious but opted not to say anything about it. This is my hope, anyway. Let's be honest, because of the book, the term "Lolita" crops up all the time in the media in reference to people like Britney Spears, characters in movies, etc. So I thought it completely ridiculous that they were so baffled.

Fast forward to Monday night exercise class. The class is held in a town about 5 miles away, but it may as well be 5 million. The women there are very, very nice but not very "with it." They know more about American Idol than I do (which isn't hard), but otherwise, they generally have no idea what I'm talking about when it comes to culture, pop or otherwise. There is one woman in the class who I know reads a lot and based on our conversations I assumed that that meant quality as well as quantity. So, we're doing some evil leg lifts or something and she asks if I read a lot. My natural answer to this question feels like "no" because I'm lucky to finish a book a week, but knowing that is about 50 more books than the average person reads a year, I said "yes." So, she asked me what some of my favorites were so she could add them to her list of things to read. I said, "Well, I'm sure you've probably read most of my favorites." She asked again what they were. This was when I was shocked to discover that this college-educated woman not only hadn't read Lolita or My Antonia, but she had never even heard of the books or the authors. I was so saddened by this that I only suggested books that I imagined most people hadn't heard of, so I wouldn't be further disappointed. To her credit, she had read both Middlesex and The Namesake and thereby made me feel a little better about my original assessment of her.

What happened? I admit that most classics bore me to death, or at least tears, and not only have I not been able to finish a lot of them, but I've never even started most. But I still am aware that they exist and who wrote them and in which era they take place. Were these people never exposed to this information or did it matter so little to them at the time as to make absolutely no impression? Either option seems pretty disheartening to me.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Jump and Climb

Don't ask me why I am only willing to spend $5 per class for myself but am spending $14 per class for Sebastian to jump on a trampoline. Really. Don't ask. You'll only hear a lot of justifications and excuses regarding lack of exercise in the winter that just cover for my inability to spend money on myself.

Anyway, Sebastian started his "Jump and Climb" class yesterday afternoon at the swanky gymnastics studio that opened a couple of years ago, stealing all the students from the Recreation Department. I said that I would rather use the Rec. Dept. and we did for a while. It wasn'tbecause it costs half as much, either.) But you can add to Sebastian's long list of anxieties that he doesn't like to go upside down. You have to go upside down a lot in your standard gymnastics class so I stopped signing him up.

Well, he has been in desperate need of exercise this winter and I finally got a flyer for the new place. He was very excited about the idea of a class entirely devoted to trampolines and rock climbing. $111 for 8 weeks later, he has something to get him through until spring.

I wasn't a fan of the fact that they were playing the worst children's music ever, something Jeremy and I just can't abide. I also can't stand it when people talk down to children or put on weird syrupy voices when speaking to them. I am obviously bringing this up because that is exactly how his teacher behaved, and somehow it seems so much worse coming from a man than a woman. And as I had suspected, Sebastian refused to climb up the tall rock wall wearing a harness. He put the harness on happily, but he would not climb when the teacher lifted him up.

But it was all worth it for the 2 quotes of the day:

During class, after being told the series of exercises to do
"Okay, Blake, I'm not sure I can do a cartwheel, but I'll do my best!"
Yes, my child was delivered to me straight from a '50s sitcom.

After class, showing me his injury
"Mama, look! I scraped my knee."
"Ouch! We'll put a bandage on when we get home."
"No. Red is my favorite color. Please don't patch it up."

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Super Tuesday VT-- with bonus Update!

We finally get to have our primary today, well after most everyone else and completely overshadowed by Texas and Ohio. At least I did hear that the Obama campaign was focusing on our little state because if they can get up to 70% from 60% of the vote here it could make a huge difference for them. According to his website, their goal is 1,500,000 calls to registered voters by today. To achieve this goal, I was personally called 4 times in 3 days. Whatever makes them feel better. Three of the calls came from live people, and the fourth was a recorded message from Barack Obama himself which I am convinced was actually Dave Chapelle doing his white guy impression.

The voting in town is always a little useless, featuring many offices which read "vote for no more than x candidates" with there being less than x to choose from. At least we have a decent race for Select Board, who are the people who get to decide if we can be naked downtown and important things like that. This year we also have the vote the whole nation is excited about/embarrassed by/disapproving of. Yes, today I get to vote to arrest Bush and Cheney for war crimes and general nogoodery. I can't wait! Considering we are the only state in the nation that they have not deigned to visit, I can't imagine this will have much impact. It's not like they pop up here to go to Mocha Joe's every weekend and we can nab them then.

For the presidential primary, I'll have my choice of Republican, Liberty Union and Democratic tickets. I will be choosing the Democratic. I've spent a lot of time deliberating this one. I've always wanted to see a woman president, and I remember being very excited about Geraldine Ferraro's run for VP. But I also was a big supporter of Jesse Jackson's run for president at the time. And truly, I think that anyone could do better than the current administration. A friend was telling me about a piece Gloria Steinem wrote concerning black men historically getting more equal treatment before women do. And that sucks, but mostly because we should all be getting equal treatment anyway so it shouldn't be a matter of first. But all things being equal, I'm not looking at these candidates for their superficial, unchangeable traits like gender or race. I'm basing my vote almost entirely on the votes they made regarding Iraq and what I think their decisions say about them. And, therefore, I will be voting for Barack Obama today. Jeremy will be voting for him simply for his voice, but that's his decision to make.

***Update***
Since I originally posted this, I have both gone to vote and read the Gloria Steinem piece. (Thank you to listmaker for the link.)
1. Steinem says this: This country can no longer afford to choose our leaders from a talent pool limited by sex, race, money, powerful fathers and paper degrees. It’s time to take equal pride in breaking all the barriers. We have to be able to say: “I’m supporting her because she’ll be a great president and because she’s a woman.” And I would like to say that, but I'm not sure I agree with the first part of the statement. I don't think feminism should be about supporting a woman just because she's a woman, but because she's a person who can do a good job at whatever it is that needs doing. Had I voted for Hillary Clinton today, I would have been trying to make an empty point. That being said, if she ends up being the Democratic candidate she will be my choice come November and I will feel satisfied with that. But given the choice, which I was today, I would choose Obama.
2. Silly thing on our ballot today, I was asked to vote for someone named "Pickles" Bedard. What a town! And in case you are interested, I took a peek at the exit poller's clipboard and way more people are voting to indict the Pres and VP than not.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Plastic or paper? Cloth.

Remember when we were discussing the whole "Could you live without plastic bags?" thing? Well, here's a solution for those of you who have a sewing machine and an old t-shirt or two lying around that you don't wear anymore. I got the instructions for this when we went down to visit my wonderful cousins in Philly last June and they took us to the Fleisher where they take art classes. We finally got around to making this bag for Jamie for his birthday, out of an old WXJM shirt from his glory days of college radio. This shirt was an XL which I think was a little Xcessively Large, so I would recommend using M or L instead. 1. Lay out your T-shirt on the kitchen floor. (Over-exposed photo taking optional.)
2. Cut out a square around the neckline, preserving as much of the design as you want. Cut off the sleeves on the OUTSIDE of the seam. Leave the seam intact on the bag.
3. With the shirt right inside out, sew a seam along the top of the hem. Trim off excess fabric of the original hem. Go get one of the plastic bags you are trying to replace. Use it as a guide for turning in the corners of the hem and turn the bag right-side out. With corners tucked in, sew another seam across bottom of the bag to hold corners in place and strengthen the bag. Now reinforce the handles by folding them in half. Fold so that the neck edge is lined up with the arm edge. Sew along both sides of the original shoulder seam.

Voila! You have a handy tote! And it's machine washable!

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Bon mots from the wee one

Dorian is up and running again today, and so is his mouth.

Earlier I heard as I was dressing:
"Where your pants? Those are your knees! They are so good."
If you say so.

Just now, he came out of his room where he was supposed to be napping.
Jeremy: "Dorian, did you poop?"
D: "No."
J: "It smells poopy."
D: "It's you."

So glad he's feeling better.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

My sweet little love-love

Poor little DeeDee is not feeling well. How can I tell? Last night he was begging to go to bed after an early dinner. I put him off until 5:45 before he passed out. He probably woke up at 7:30. Then he went down for a nap that lasted from 9 until 11:30. He's been in bed again since 1pm. That's 18 and a half hours of sleep/rest so far.

It definitely isn't the climate for tsetse flies, and he doesn't seem to have any other symptoms.

On the bright side, I've gotten some nice alone time while he's been resting and Sebastian has been enjoying a Daddy Weekend.* It's just sad to see my busy little bundle so inert.

*Not to be confused with Vampire Weekend. Although, they did listen to that on the way to the Dan Zanes show last night.